Q: What is that annoying two-note pattern in the background?
A: Caps lock key.
q: how do you guys get those bigger letters into the sentences you type?
a: no guarantees, but I suspect it’s a titmouse.
Q: Egads sir, what evil animal-bird hybrid have you created this time?
A: Beans on Toast
Q: What is the Rootin’ Tootin’ breakfast special?
A: It appears that the badger has gone to Victoria’s Secret.
Q: What’s so special about this version of “Wind in the Willows”?
A: Everybody mambo!
Q: What other market did Penthouse is in its plummet towards bankpuptcy?
A: Kittens.
Q: What’s for dinner, honey?
A: Differential Calculus
Q. What’s Your SDMB user name, Sir Issac Newton?
A. Llanfairpwyllgwyngergerochwyrndrobwyllllantisilliogogogoch.
Q: What is the correct incantation for summoning Cthulhu’s younger brother, Ted?
A: Close to a buck a gig these days…
Q: Hey, can you tell me the Australian word for “cracker”?
A: My bottle of water.
Q: Ooops, I was supposed to tell you that Sunspace needed an alternate toilet. What was it he used again?
A: The Symbionese Liberation Army.
Q: I remember you, you’re John Smith from high school – I heard you changed your legal name. What did you change it to?
A: A lame duck
Q: What is the politically incorrect term for a physically challenged waterfowl?
A: Add a dash of Angoustora bitters and shake.
Q: How do you make a San Andreas Fault?
A: ‘On Mouseover’.
Q: What’s on page 541 of Mickey’s Kama Sutra?
A: I’m not sure if that’s blood or ketchup.
Q: Why does your Grandma’s meatloaf taste so weird?
A: American Legion Post 279
Q: Who beat the Steelers on Sunday?
A: Two grizzly bears and a penguin.
Q: What walked into a bar and sat down next to the Rabbi?
A: I’m not sure, but it seems to be exuding fluorescent slime that smells of formic acid.
Q: Why is this pie so shiny?
A: Mel Gibson’s Passion.
Q: What is Kevin Costner’s butt?
A: Squinty-eyed devil