Q: What was the street name of the worst rap artist to come out of Pago Pago?
A: Nasturtium.
Q: Who is the band opening for Happy Scrappy Hero Pup at the Fillmore?
A: The anesthesia will take effect, shortly.
Q: When can I stop banging my head on the table, in order to dull
the pain?
A: Soft-serve ice cream, in a cup, not a cone.
Q: In exchange for my soul, Old Scratch, what do I get in return?
A: I deny that I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll.
Q: So, I heard a story about you and Tipper Gore. Is it true?
A: I’m the guy who doesn’t want to fight cancer.
Q: I put it to you, are you, or are you not, the guy who does battle with the twelve signs of the Zodiac?
A:Dancing on the moon, with you in my arms, far away above the stars.
Q: Can any of you figure out how to insert the word “ancing” into a sentense?
A: The Polka Kings Of Milwaukee Sign Songs About Congress.
Q:" Any reason the kielbasi on the Senate Dining Room menu is garnished with sauerkraut arranged in the shape of accordions?"
A:“I just can’t lie down anymore.”
Q: Why do you insist on having sex while standing?
A: The hedgehog was INSIDE the milk carton!
Q: Why did Marlene keep breaking out in a pricky rash every time she snuck milk from the fridge?
A: Liverwurst.
Q: “Frankenstein, what food is most destructive to your digestive tract?”
A: 2,17,889,38756,…
Q: Can anyone think of anything like kidneybad?
A: Batman, if he’s not at all well prepared.
Anwsering Quiltguy:
Q: How many people have posted on this thread?
A: Batman, if he’s not at all well prepared.
Q. Who do you think will look worse at the political debate, Arnold or Batman?
A. I think that’s where the expression “When pigs fly” comes from.
Q: Did you know the Wright Brothers used to keep hogs?
A: In my jammies, juggling teacups and globs of frozen extra virgin olive oil.
Q: Where does JK Rowling warm up for another writing session?
A: Madagascar. Or Mississauga. Or one of those M-places anyways…
A. Where were 25 naked people heading in a Honda Civic
Q. What sea monster devastated Tokyo
Whoops,
Q What were 25 naked people driving in, was it a Mazda?
A What sea monster devastated Tokyo
Q: The Black Fleet.
A: Red, white, and green.
Q: What happens when you drag a Polish flag across rusting copper?
A: A disaster of epic proportions.