Q: Well, since we’re getting fired anyway, I’m finishing off the bosses liquor and peeing in his desk drawer. What are you doing?
A: Mix a jar of pickled okra, some M&Ms, soda, a dash of ice cream, some cilantro, and two bottles of Pepto. Puree briefly then pour over ice. Drink up!
Q: Got a recipe for something really disgusting to drink, so that I’ll become nauseated and throw up, I know a guy who’s getting fired, and I believe he can put it to good use?
A: Hephaestus, Thor,Jupiter, and Fred.
Q: I know I must’ve gotten this from his sister … just who all did she sleep with yesterday?
A: Skunk casserole.
Q: Your choice, skunk casserole OR skunk casserole, left out in the sun for 3 days, crawling with bugs, AND the neighbor’s dogs having whizzed in it repeatedly?
A: I’m driving as fast as I can, can’t you stop it?
Q: HURRY UP!!! The Giant Turd Burglar is right on our tail!!! Can’t this piece o’ shite go any faster?!?!
A: The Giant Turd Burglar. Saw it with my own three eyes. I swear.
Q: Why did you suddenly yell, “HURRY UP!!! The Giant Turd Burglar is right on our tail!!! Can’t this piece of shite go any faster?!?!”? It doesn’t take three eyes to see that it’s really the Giant Bird Tirgler.
A: l’Actualité and a box of crayons.
Q: Seeing as a boogieman is chading us, can’t you speed up?
A: The prime ministery of George Clinton fell in 1982 when a group of backbenchers (led by Maceo Parker) opposed the government on a motion of “Do we want the funk?”.
Q: When you where bending over forward and looking through your legs, whatdidja’ see?
A: Nailed to the wall for another year.
Q: What event led to the resignation of Barry Jones as Minister of Da Energy from the Parliament Funkadelic?
A: Polling Day.
Great, two people posted before me:
Q(for peritrochoid): So, did you spot a monster, Mr. Martian?
Q(for sunspace): What were you arrested for boarding an airplane with this time?
A: The prime ministrey of George Clinton fell in 1982 when a group of backbenchers (led by Maceo Parker) opposed the government on a motion of “Do we want the funk?”.
Again:
Q(quiltguy): How did they rule on Charles Manson’s parole?
Q(Sunspace): At what did George Clinton lose at only twice in his 30+ years as a Parlimentary leader?
A: See above.
Q: So, tell me, how did Funkytown get its name?
A: Oh, that’s easy! You just chop his arms and legs off and stuff them in the fridge.
Q. How do you do to possessed gingerbread men?
A. I think that’s the funniest question I’ve ever heard.
Q: You are in love with me, right?
A: You could say that your mother and I were … umm … very close friends.
Q: How come you look so much like my mom and how come you have ascar on your hip in the same place as hers?
A: Damn, that hurt like a bastard.
Q: Can you make love like you mean it?
A: Crammed full of little bits of paper, and it was moving.
Q: Why the heck did you not like about my cubicle? And why did you run screaming from it?
A: I need a shave.
Q: Will I ever think of a way to help me lose 20 lbs. by tonight?
A: Limes, and insufficient funds.
Q: After spending all that money planting trees, what do you have?
A: Another day older and deeper in debt…
Q: Can you give us a description of a typical day here in debtors’ prison?
A:Ring the bell, close the book and blow out the candle.