Q: Care to have this funnel place in your mouth, and a mixture of carbolic acid, lemonade, extra virgin olive oil, soot and bearnaise sauce poured in-whence you’ll be rolled around on the floor for ten minutes and then propped in the corner upside-down?
A: It took 37 nails to secure it.
Q: How did you mount all your enemies’ heads on the wall?
A: Bill Tilden does it best.
Q: How did Bill Tilden’s boyfriend respond to a telephone survey regarding sexual prowess?
A: Mucilage! Collect every pot that you can!
Q: The rift in the time-space continuum is reaching a critical phase, what can be done NOW?
A: Books on hang-gliding, and a ham and cheese sandwich.
Q. What did you put in his lunch to make him remember to diet?
A. Well, that’s the reason he’s like that.
Q: Sticking your tongue into an electrical outlet can do some amazing things for ya’, am I right?
A: Three bright lights.
Q: What blinded Manfred Mann’s Earth Band?
A: The silky innocent natured way she looked at me, before her sessions started.
Q: What blinded Manfred Mann’s Earth Band?
A: The silky innocent natured way she looked at me, before her sessions started.
Q: Why was it so creepy the way she stared at me, whenever she started to practice stuffing a dozen lemons in her mouth?
A: Bethany certainly didn’t need any more yellow legal pads.
Q: Why did you give your lawyer an exploding golf ball as their Christmas gift?
A: Riggs, Kramer, and Schroeder, but not E. Victor Seixas.
Q: Can Bobby, Cosmo and that little piano playing kid come with us on our picnic, oh, and how about my friend whose name is an anagram for Ace Sex Visitor?
A: Standing in the shadows of love.
Q: Where is Pepe le Pew?
A: At the bottom of the Seine.
Q: Where was their car?
A: Row 14, Seat C, and enjoy the show.
Q: I’ve got my tarpaulin, plastic dropcloths and a 3foot square piece of plexiglas, can someone direct me to my seat for the Gallagher performance?
A: Up to now, I’ve had no complaints.
Q: How did you get away with operating a butcher shop in your fifth floor walk-up?
A: At the request of my attorney, I refuse to answer any more questions.
Q: Senator, can you explain the purpose of the harnesses and muscle relaxers found in your office?
A: A fluffy white rabbit.
Q: I’m really amazed how strong you are, what was that thing before you crammed it into that soda can?
A: Beef tallow and hominy grits.
Q: What did we see in the cooking exhibit at the Royal Ontario Museum?
A: The United States Congress.
Q: What should we give to Canada?
A: A hamster and a spoon.
Q: What are two of the five components of a good server?
A: Spackling, tuna, and George Thoroughgood.