Q: What do you say when Herman Melville gives you a BJ?
A: The Molestinator
Q: What do you get when you cross a Republican Gubernatorial candidate with the Archbishop of Boston?
A: Bacon scented longjohns.
Q: What really happens when you lay down with pigs, in the winter, sartorially speaking?
A: Never saw cotton candy THAT color.
Q: Why did you burn down the local carnival?
A: There’s something in the way she moves.
Q: What did Clinton like about Ms Lewinsky ?
A: Of, course you do, honey!
Q: Do I look good covered in that stuff, and what’s the name of it anyway?
A: That’s the reason I’m keeping all the shavings from the pencil sharpener.
Q: So you’re planning on adding more pubic hair to yourself? Is that it?
A: Arctic banana
Q: They are confusing, isn’t that an antarctic plantain?
A: Just sitting here, memorizing the OED.
Q: What were you doing while the SDMB was down?
A: Stupid poetic justice!
Q: What’s much more amusing to watch than smart secular justice?
A: Arwen, Aragorn, and Gonzo.
Q: Who are the latest entrants in the California governor race?
A: Ouzo scented fruit flies.
Q: (Again!) Who are the latest entrants in the California governor race?
A: Because bile tastes bad.
Q: How do you know that medicine, produced from animal livers, is
good for you?
A: Sixteen 2 x 4, a 1 x8 and a keg of nails.
Q: What will I need to frame up a wall around 10 feet long, and tack it square? Many nails will be left over.
A: But the baby armadillos are so cute.
Q: You can’t expect your Mother to nurse those things!?
A: Don’t mix in quite so much manure.
Q: It’s enough to draw flies, but I’m not so sure about the color?
A: Because it’s taking so long to post.
Q: Why are you shouting at the computer?
A: A komodo dragon, some rubber bands, and a bottle of Yukon Jack.
Q: What is that unique Thanksgiving dinner centerpiece?
A: Corruption, dejection and snickerdoodles.
Q: What do you think is the most prevalent flaw in politics, what does it make you feel, and what do you feel influenced the aforementioned flaw?
A: Riding in the elevator with a complementary donut in hand.
Q: What are you going to do, now that she’s left you?
A: Smoke clove cigars, and call me after brunch.