Q: Mr Bush, how do you respond to people who say you are trying to take over the world?
A: Yeah, but I like kinky sex.
[His4Ever voice]
Q: Don’t you realize what God expects of you?
[/His4Ever voice]
A: “When come back, bring pie.”
Q: What did Weebl just say?
A: Yeah, but it’s big, dumb and hairy!
Q: “What is the meaning of life, oh wise Polycarp?”
A: “It aint what you do, it’s the way that you do it”
Q: Is that your pet jock?
Q: What’s the motto of the ‘size doesn’t matter’ society?
A: She was a hotel detective.
Q: What is the definition of kinky sex?
A: Just put some ice on it.
[Trying again]
Q: So let me get this straight. You saw a prostitute in the hotel bar, you offered her fifty bucks and now you’re in jail why?
A: Just put some ice on it.
Q: How do you cure chaffing after too much kinky sex?
A: Two thousand dollars, a book of green shield stamps, and a picture of Lennin.
Q: How do you pay for kinky sex?
A: Spicy guacamole.
Q. You went for a dip in the nude and now you have burns over half your body? How come?
A. The hamsters ate it.
Q: Oh my! Why is there that gaping hole in his leg?
A: We’re going to see the Easter Bunny.
Q. Dude. What happened to Michael Jackson’s nose?
A. It’s quite an eclectic mix of yak hair and virgin wool - all I know is that Madonna bought one for $500.
[mutter] Simulposting again… [/mutter] It was originally meant for Polycarp’s last one, but this one’s interesting too…
Q: What’s that new condom made of?
A: It was Polycarp!
Q: Who ate my freedom fries?
A: My mother says it’s because of the Jet Stream.
Q: How did lieu break the toilet bowl while peeing?
A: A suffusion of yellow.
Q: What color is lieu’s pee?
A: Because Santa needs helpers.
Q: What’s that over in that urinal?
A: An oversized stuffed elephant.
Damn simulpost! Let’s try this again.
Q: What does Charlton Heston have in his bedroom?
A: Because it can only bend to the right.
Q: Why won’t my left elbow go past straight?
A: A vat of lime Jell-O, 2 raccoons, a Barry Manilow album, and Tuesday’s New York Times.