Q: What are we bribing Iraqi informants with?
A: The swelling is gone but it’s still bright purple.
Q: How’s your new purple tattoo healing up?
A: And then the rabbi says “Holy smokes!”
Q: What is the new advertising slogan for Kosher Tobacco Products[sup]TM[/sup].
– Please, you can’t really start an answer with ‘And’, nitpick.
A: Much more spicy Guacamole.
Q: What do you have when you vomit guacamole?
A: Two turntables and a cellular phone.
Q: What’s the tagline for Beck’s new Cingular Wireless commercial?
A: A vat of nacho cheese.
Q: What did you eat?
A: Marshmallow peeps and a half-pound of olive loaf.
Q: What do y’all use for communion?
A: Air guitar with a pickle.
Q: How do smurf’s entertain themselves at a Metallica concert?
A: Saddam Hussein, brussel sprouts, and a large spoon.
Q: What is George Bush’s idea of a good time?
A: Bill O’Reilly in a négligée.
Q: What is the best defense against erotic thoughts in the world?
A: Only her hairdresser knows for sure!
Q: Does His4Ever have little horns on her head?
A: Cooties.
Q: What sounds does a baby make?
A: Parsley, Sage, Bea Arthur and Thyme.
Q: Are you going to Golden Girls’ Fair?
A: Because of the smell.
Q: Why won’t you come with me to the Golden Girls Fair?
A: 36 metric tons of fluffernutter
Q: What did you eat after having kinky sex in it?
A: Well, well, well, you can never tell.
[sorry about the ‘and the rabbi’ thing.]
Q: What was overheard from the well inspector as he went from hole to hole?
A: These are eggplants, you fool! I wanted bananas!!!
Q: Are you as turned on as I am by this?
A: It only hurts when I laugh.
Q: Was that caused by excessive masturbation?
A: I used to, but the neighbors objected.
Q: Do you still have those kinky sex parties?
A: Three feet of snow and maple syrup.
Q: How do I stop the burning of this hemerroidal itch?
A: The fish came last.