The ability to plunge toilets with your bare hands.
The ability to become invisible in the dark is always a good one.
The ability to explode - once.
Prehensile intestines.
How about the ability to clog toilets with no hands?
I have the power to see thirty seconds into the future.
I have to enter a trance.
It lasts for one minute.
Being able to shit out your peehole, and pee out your shithole.
I can cause an entire 20 oz bag of Cheetos to disappear very quickly. But only once every few days.
Us’ta be I could do it more often, but a lot of life is like that.
Put me horizontal, and I’ll start to fall asleep or at least get very placid. Apparently, when I’m feeling like this I send out ‘sleep vibes’ that make other people want to go nap, as well.
If I ever decide to fight crime I’ll go by the name “The Ragdoll” - I shall sap the energy of villains by looking soft and cuddly. My weaknesses will be sofas in sunny spots, and cheese platters.
What? I like cheese, okay?
The infallible ability to goad mobs into trying to lynch you.
The ability to psychically inflict intense pain on yourself.
The ability to extend your eyes on stalks.
Which inspires my next idea :
The ability to turn into living cheese.
Awwwright! My first Nemesis! airpunch
Hmmm… That beats my abililty to change my eye color to a slightly different shade of brown…
I can detach my head to throw at an enemy.
This thread made me think of Very Mild Super Powers (song) by David O’Doherty.
Super Magnetic Testicles.
Can Dribble Mayonnaise Out Of Nose
Command Leigons of Roly Poly Bugs
Intense Salami Odor
The ability to actuate a flux capacitor by only minor tweaks to the knuten valve.
Does it involve stepping into sunlight? 
From Who’s Line is it Anyways?
"Thank goodness you’ve arrived, Boneless Boy!
(flop)
The ability to spontaneously burst into flames, like the Human Torch. No ability, however, to actually withstand or survive such a circumstance–at that point, just a screaming guy on fire.
The ability to attract cat hair (this is my actual, real-life power).
How about the ability to turn one’s skin invisible? Or incredibly thick skin (The Human Callus)?