The others have address your first Q well enough. On the second: I like it a lot because a/ I get to see her impale herself on me - just glorious - and b/ I can lean her back so she’s lying on her back on top of me, meaning I can reach around with my hands and do anything I like to any part of her - kinda like doggy style without the balance problems. mmm mmmm gotta go home right now …
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*Originally posted by godzillatemple *
OK, before the wife and I married back in April, we were both virgins. Since that time our sex life has been fun and fulfilling (for both of us, as far as I can tell), but not particularly adventurous. Basically, my wife (who has never seen a porno flick in her life) doesn’t feel comfortable having sex in anything except the classic “Missionary” position, although we have tried it with her on top a few times.
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Only MISSIONARY? Ummm, how old is she? It could just be natural shyness. I was sort of uncomfortable with different positions until I was in my mid 20s.
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My first set of questions have to do with the so-called “doggy-style” position:
[ol][li]What, if anything, do women get out of it? Is there any difference in sensation?[/li][/quote]
It depends upon how the man does it. I like it standing, and I don’t know how, because I’m not the guy, but my boyfriend does something that is really a turn on in that position.
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[li]Do women find the position demeaning (e.g., that they are being treated like a dog, or an “object”)? I’ll admit that I find this position the most exciting to watch in porno flicks, but I’m enough of a liberal at heart to to worry about why I find it so exciting.[/li][/quote]
I don’t. It’s just a sexual position. There are so many of them and this is just another one.
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[li]Is this position any easier or more difficult if the man (that would be me) is not particularly well-endowed? In other words, do you need a longer penis to have sex this way than in the Missionary position, or is this position actually better than the Missionary position if you don’t have a large penis? I’m kinda hoping the latter, since that would give me a plausible reason for suggesting we try it…[/ol][/li][/quote]
It’s uncomfortable to painful if the man is too big. If he’s average then he can move and position himself so as to please her without hurting her (IMHO). My boyfriend kind of bends his knees and angles his penis up. He also spends lots of time with it on the “outside” stimulating with the soft tip. Again, sorry I’m not into pornos so I’m not sure exactly HOW it is that he’s moving and positioning himself that “does the trick” so to speak. (plus he’s the only man in which I’ve been with in most of these more adventurous positions). Prior to my relationship with him, I was married for several years and in three very long term relationships, so my experience is based on long periods of time with just one man in an LTR, not on lots of men and lots of different stuff.
THAT one just plain HURTS, and I’m a dancer and a former HS gymnast. I’m very ignorant regarding porno, but IMHO? This one is just for show. But, I could be wrong, maybe there are some who reallly like it.
But I’m thinking that for that one to work, the man would have to have a really small penis. After all, think about it, the angle of the penis is going “against the grain” so to speak.
Or, maybe we were just “doing it wrong” 
ARgh, those relationships?
NOT all at the same time!!!
DOn’t worry – I think most of us figured that out 
Barry
I’m with Cowgirl and Sanguine Spider on this one, I LOVE doing it doggy style. If you’re not hugely endowed the deeper penetration is better for your partner, and it leaves her exposed for you to touch her. As for it being demeaning - well, if you love and respect someone, surely nothing you do can really be demeaning?
1 - yeah there is a different sensation and deeper penetration. Just be careful because hitting the cervix HURTS! This position, and the other from behind positions, are the only ones we can use right now since I’m 8 months pregnant.
2 - demeaning? That has far more to do with how you treat her and how she sees herself than any position.
3 - deeper penetration position therefore the more endowed you are the more likely you are to hit the cervix… have I said how much that HURTS?!
4 - This position never works well for me/us. However if she’s laying on her back over you this works really well as AndrewT said… I find the best way to accomplish this is to start in a spoon and then have him roll us both onto our backs. Having a headboard to grab for leverage once she’s up there doesn’t hurt either.
OK, just to show off my ignorance even further… You can do it in a spoon position? I always assumed when couples were having sex that way in the movies that it was anal and not vaginal sex.
So what are the advantages/disadvantages to having sex in that position? Keeping in mind that I’m not terribly well-endowed (not a shrimp, but probably a bit smaller than average).
Barry
Doggy is GREAT. Really.
It’s even better if I bend my elbows at right angles (resting my forearms on the bed) and arch my back (think sphinx or pussy cat rather than dog).
There is a position you could try, but it involves some work to get into.
Start spooning, then slowly roll onto your back, so that she is lying on her back on top of you. get her to brace her feet on the bed either side of your thighs and her hands on the headboard and push down so her back arches. Use your hands whatever way you like. I LOVE that one, and it’s much better than looking at his feet in the reverse cowgirl position.
Lucky me, irishfella is very strong so he can lift us straight from me on top to missionary and vice versa, also from missionary to me sitting on his lap while he sits up, all without interrupting the proceedings. If you’re bigger than your wife, and strong, you could consider doing the same. Part of the problem with more exotic positions is that few of them are comfortable for more than a few minutes, and stopping and starting isn’t exactly sexy.
uh, that might be TMI, even for this thread.
Spooning does allow for vaginal sex. It works quite well and the lady can place herself at whatever angle to you provides her with the best sensation.
We like this particular position (both of us lying on our backs with me on top) as it allows for his hands to be free to roam and find all the sensitive spots. I can arch my back to vary the angle and amount of penetration and that is nice too. Just be mindful that your wife may end up with a massive headrush if she sits up too quickly from this position especially after orgasm!
What you and the wife need to do is spend a day nakie and see all the unique ways you can manage to fit together!
The advantages of any position are level/angle of penetration, ease of access to parts that you wish to stimulate and leverage for the previous items.
No worries about endowment either… as long as both of you are having fun that’s irrelevant… Especially if you get your idea of what’s average from porn movies!
Years ago, when I was with the Cheatin’ Ex (before she was), we used to make one position work that I’ve not used elsewhere or since; her prone on her front and me crouching over her. Everything fitted, probably because she had a pretty petite derriere, and it worked well for me. We usually used this only when she’d already come, and she wasn’t a repeater as a rule, so I don’t know how efficacious it could be for her (though she liked it), but it was easy enough for me to reach round the front with my hand.
We usually started off with straightforward missionary, pulled up into the seated-in-each-other’s-laps position after a while, switched to her on top (it all went in nice easy stages; also, she was light and I was strong enough that changing positions was easy) and often went back to missionary to finish. Didn’t do the doggy position very often, though it did the trick all right when we did.
Also, and this is trickier to describe than to do: her on her back. Me on my side, to (let’s say) her right, facing her. She lifts her right leg. My right leg goes between 'em and I scissor her left thigh between my thighs. I get JT on target and off we go. The scissor grip gives us both something to push/pull against, and I have a hand free to stroke whatever wants it, and penetration’s reasonably deep and controllable. Also, she’s not got weight on her and I’m not having to prop myself on my elbows, and we can watch each other’s face without being eyeball-to-eyeball. This makes for nice, relaxed, prolonged screwing
Sigh… that was then, this is now 
Bingo, tanookie. Demeaned or cherished - or both - is all in the minds of the participants.
That said, if she’s coming from inexperience or a background where anything other than missionary is ‘bad’, her mindset might take a while to change.
I’d say that background and inexperience are both factors here.
Thanks for all the advice and anecdotes. Keep 'em coming! Errrr… no pun intended
Barry
I’m a man… but I will give me “input” on this matter:
Doggy Style is great. Some women dont like the “impersonality” of it… others adore it. Its way easier for the man to come too… you have more freedom of movement. My experience is that clitorial women wont have orgasm in this position thou… they like it… but no orgasm. I am average+ so not sure about penetration. Other positions seem to go deeper than doggie.
Demeaning ? Dont think so… but it certainly has a measure of submissive in it… and many women like that. I grab her hair… sometimes even hold her hands behind her back… she loves it. Dont do doggie on the rug thou… bad for the knees… both of yours.
My suggestion is stop asking and start doing things in order to get your wife into “doggie” position. When your alone and in the kitchen for example… approach her from behind, hug her and fondle her until she is ready… then bend her over and voila ! She will get used to at least being “handled” from behind.
2nd Question: Doggy on top facing away is almost a doggie style lying down. The woman has more control thou. Like someone mentioned the position can be a bit awkward and smaller “friends” might slip out. I think its great for the woman controlling and for the man the visual aspect… very pretty view. Thou it harder to caress her.
I agree with what most people said… start on missionary and change the legs… eventually going on to shoulders… that is very deep penetration. Thou remember that women have “feeling” area in the outside and the beggining… not in their uterus 
Good Luck and keep trying… missionary is … hmm… well for missionaries only. Sex can be so much more. I hope she isnt this fussy about oral sex either.
This is quite possibly the best thread evar. Carry on…
Nah, that would be Davebear’s [in]famous “Spit or Swallow” thread[sup]*[/sup].
Barry
[sup]*[/sup]For the record, BTW, Mrs. Godzilla is not opposed to oral sex as long as I wash “down there” first. She refuses to either spit or swallow, however, and insists that business be finished elsewhere than in her mouth. Since I don’t have any burning need to do it in her mouth, this is perfectly fine by me.
I was also thinking that Mrs. Godzilla will probably be open to suggestions after you’ve been doing it longer. I mean, if you were both virgins until a couple months ago I can see why she might still be a tad nervous about it.
I was 19 when I lost my virginity, but probably 21 when I finally got comfortable enough to go wild. I’m sure it won’t take her that long though.
Also, try different positions after she’s had a few drinks. I know I’m more easily convinced when I’m a little drunk. haha. That sounds terrible, but it’s true.
Well, neither of us drink (did I mention we are incredibly boring people?), but thanks for the suggestion anyway…
Wow, my wife and I do that too and use the same name for it.
She really likes that position too.
It can also be done with her on her side, her upper leg bent at the knee (like she’s about to walk up a giant step) and Me over her on my knees (spread out) with her other leg between my legs. I can’t tell if that makes any sense. But she loves it.
If you wife likes cleanliness, why not start with a shower together? That way you’ll both feel clean, and intimate. Gets the ball rolling.
Your wife’s shyness or reluctance might also be self-consciousness. I know some women are anxious about positions because they don’t think they manage them gracefully or can’t imagine how it would be sexy to be seen from that angle or making those movements. That’s where you come in.
Make an effort to let her know you find her beautiful and attractive from every angle. Let me tell you, if a guy told me my ass looked fabulous when I was on my hands and knees, he’d be seeing me like that often. Tell her you love the curves of her back, the way her neck looks. Let her focus on how sexy she is in these different positions.
Hubby and I were both virgins when we met. We had our share of awkward sex at the beginning… we’ve studied and practiced dilligently over the years though and have had a lot of fun figuring out what each of us likes… and after 12 years we’re still learning. Sex is a journey that hopefully won’t end for many many many years… enjoy the progression!
If your wife isn’t into porno movies maybe you can browse the adult books (amazon has a large selection) they have more sensual descriptions and would probably help open up communication between the two of you. ‘Bookmarking’ also works well… you bookmark a section with something that interests you and leave the book where she can read it without pressure… then encourage her to do the same.