Questions for men and their thoughts about women

In My Humble Opinion
41

  1. I always try to propose solutions…the wisdom of my suggestions varies; I feel responsible for her poblems when I cause them, or somehow exaccerbate them…

  2. Lingere good, but not necessary…naked works just as well, and its cheaper…

  3. I sure do…

  4. My wife is welcome to shave whatever she likes with my razor…just rinse it afterwards…

  5. Nope…it’s generally “What pissed her off? Was it me? If yes, then goto…”

  6. I encourage her initiation of romance…her ideas are 100X less cheesy than mine.

  7. N/A

  8. Tomboys are good…cavewoman isn’t one per se, but partakes of some tomboyish behavior now and then. She rarely wears makup, but is hair-and-nail obsessed…and can swear up a storm when needed…

  9. As independant as she wishes to be…I don’t find strong women threatening, but I do like to be needed…

  10. Not important at all. No harm yet.

This list of questions comes from conversations I’ve had with some of my friends, Their husbands don’t really feel comfortable being asked these things and make don’t take the questions seriously. So, we ask for your opinions.

42

Been married 20 years. My answers:

  1. Sometimes I just listen, because I know she just wants to vent. There are things I have no control over, such as something that happens on her job. And I can tell she just wants an outlet for it. When I can offer a solution, I do, but she’s not obligated to take it, of course. And hey, sometimes I am the cause of the problem.

  2. I kind of like it, in theory. I mean, she always looks good to me, so whatever she’s in (or out of) is fine. She’s not real comfortable wearing that kind of thing, though. It’s just not her. And that has an affect on the whole perception. If she’s comfortable, she’s more likely to seem sexy.

  3. Not butterflies, at least not every time. It’s more a warm, comfortable feeling, like an article of clothing that fits my body perfectly, or snuggling in my own warm bed.

  4. That doesn’t happen, but if it did, I’d be upset. I wouldn’t think of using her leg razor to shave my beard, after all.

  5. She’s never had menstrual mood swings, so no, I don’t think that at all. I think something has happened to piss her off, either at school (where she works) or in the home.

  6. I’m all for it. I wish she would initiate it more.

  7. We both work full-time, but she does most of the housework. I do most of the yardwork. It just has worked out that way. Although I make the bed every day, clean out the cat box, and often sweep the floors. And I periodically prepare meals if she’s had a particularly hellacious day. But then, like I said, I do the yardwork almost exclusively. Home repairs, too. This is not because she’s a woman and I’m a man, though. It’s just by mutual consent.

  8. My wife is not like that at all, although she doesn’t fuss with her hair or wear makeup or perfume. But her language and behavior are always proper. I don’t have a problem with women who do either, though. It’s a personal choice, and the important thing is whether they are comfortable with that choice.

  9. I like her to be as independent as she can be. Still, I like being there to open stubborn jars or reach things on high shelves or carry heavy items. Not as a macho thing, but insofar as we complete and complement each other. The more we are yin and yang, the stronger is our bond.

  10. Oral sex is not high on either of our priorities. If it happens, fine, but I’m not going to pout about it if I don’t get it.

43

For what it’s worth, I’ve never been married, but have had several long-term (i.e., years) relationships. Forgive me if I pass on some of the questions.

  1. When your SO talks about their problems, do you find yourself just listening or do you try to think of ways to fix them? And do you ever feel responsible for their problems ?

My natural instinct at first was to try to fix them or offer suggestions, because I rarely talk about my own problems unless I’m looking for answers. Over time I have come to appreciate the value of shutting up. I have also had success asking what she feels she might do about it, or how she feels about it. I only wish that I had known earlier what my SOs had expected when they began to vent at me.

  1. How do you feel about lingerie ? Does it turn you on ? Or does it just make you want to rip it off ? Or would you rather see your SO in an old T-shirt ?

I love lingerie when I happen to find it under her clothing, as if she anticipated I might look there on that particular night. When she walks into the room wearing some ridiculous lacy thing, I almost resent the manipulation inherent in it. I have the same opinion of women who wear itty-bitty skirts and low-cut halter tops: do they really think I’m such a slave to my hormones that I don’t realize they’re trying to get my attention?

  1. If you have been with your SO for a long time, do you still get butterflys in your stomach when you see her ?

Never been married; I can’t say. Over a three year non-live-in relationship, yes.

  1. How do you feel about women using your razor to shave their legs or anything else ?

Pass–however, I don’t even like using a replaceable razor cartridge more than two or three times myself.

  1. When you SO is in a bad mood is your first reaction “Oh man, she has PMS”?

Nope. It never crosses my mind. She might later blame her behavior (weepy, aggressive, whatever) on PMS, but I don’t blame the PMS behavior on her if she doesn’t.

  1. When it comes to romance, How do you feel about your SO initating it ? I’m not talking about sex as much as romance.

It’s wonderful. I love it when a SO can do that. The best proposition I ever had was a ransom note, clipped from headlines and magazines, that read, “If you EvER waNT to SEE MAry AgAin GO to (restaurant) AT (time). WEar JaCKet And TIE.”

  1. If your SO is a homemaker, do you feel that all of the housework is her job or is it split evenly ? What percentage do you do ?

Pass.

  1. What do you think of tomboys ? Women that can easily say a lot of bad words with out thinking about it, who don’t wear a lot of make-up or do their hair and don’t dress up a lot. Do you have a bad opinion of women like that ? If yes, Why ?

I am secretly a very competetive person. I can’t stand losing, but I hate the feeling I get when I really try hard to win. I don’t like putting myself into a position where I feel like I have to compete with anyone. My answer to this question is a bit conditional: I like women who are willing to go out for a backpacking trip, who can help set up a tent, who can bait a hook or change a tire. I don’t usually hang around with women who are constantly trying to challenge me in competitions, who feel they have to beat me in order to prove themselves worthy. Not that I can say I don’t like those women: I don’t like what I become, around them. About the swearing issue, I don’t swear much in public but I do often enough in private and with friends. For me, it’s an issue of being able to communicate without resorting to meaningless vulgarities, but being comfortable enough with someone in private to communicate more in emotional context than literal. Women who are comfortable enough around me to do the same are much appreciated.

  1. How independant do you like women to be ? Does it hurt your self esteem if she can handle just about everything ? Do you like it when a woman needs you for a lot of things ?

I am not impressed by helpless women. I am also uncomfortable around women who don’t seem to need me around, because I get self-conscious about what such a woman sees in me. That may be my own self-esteem issue to deal with. In general, the best relationships I’ve had have been a balance of what she and I bring to the table.

  1. How important is it for you to recieve oral sex ? If you don’t get any, does it damage your self esteem ? I’m talking about only you getting anything from it, not returning it to your SO.

It feels good, but it also makes me guilty as hell. It’s flattering that she’d consider doing it, but I’d rather be pleasing her than the other way around.

<8)))><

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      • In the interest of honesty I ansered first, and will read the other responsed afterwards, so I may repeat a lot of things…
        [sub]1. When your SO talks about their problems, do you find yourself just listening or do you try to think of ways to fix them? And do you ever feel responsible for their problems ?[/sub] I usually just figure she’d flappin’ her gums.Often it’s about “somebody was SO mean to me today!”, and it’s not anybody that I can speak to, but that she can, -but that, -she won’t. So there ain’t nuthin I can do about that person.
        [sub]
  1. How do you feel about lingerie ? Does it turn you on ? Or does it just make you want to rip it off ? Or would you rather see your SO in an old T-shirt ?[/sub] Lingerie looks theatrical. On occasion it’s great, but worn every day, it would become almost silly.
    [sub]
  2. If you have been with your SO for a long time, do you still get butterflys in your stomach when you see her ?[/sub] I haven’t ever married, so I don’t know how long you think “a long time” is. I get used to them though…
    [sub]
  3. How do you feel about women using your razor to shave their legs or anything else ?[/sub] It’s fine, if I’m watching. After which, I make a mental note to get out a new one next time I need it. Otherwise, no. Or at least, toss it afterwards.
    [sub]
  4. When you SO is in a bad mood is your first reaction “Oh man, she has PMS”?[/sub] -Yes. Most women I know cry when upset normally, but get angry on PMS…
    [sub]
  5. When it comes to romance, How do you feel about your SO initating it ? I’m not talking about sex as much as romance.[/sub] Hey, feel free. Every guy I’ve ever known likes to be pursued, at least in private. Or is it, he likes his- ah, nevermind.
    [sub]
  6. If your SO is a homemaker, do you feel that all of the housework is her job or is it split evenly ? What percentage do you do ?[/sub] Never been there, never done that…
    [sub]
  7. What do you think of tomboys ? Women that can easily say a lot of bad words with out thinking about it, who don’t wear a lot of make-up or do their hair and don’t dress up a lot. Do you have a bad opinion of women like that ? If yes, Why ?[/sub] Most men adore tomboys, for whatever reason. It’s difficult to explain, but many men find it very attractive, even in the case of a woman who otherwise wouldn’t get noticed at all. Especially one who will play contact sports or get in fistfights with males. I don’t know why it is, but it works on me, and I’ve seen it work on many, many other guys also.
    [sub]
  8. How independant do you like women to be ? Does it hurt your self esteem if she can handle just about everything ? Do you like it when a woman needs you for a lot of things ?[/sub] I prefer pretty independent. I don’t like thinking they’re attracted to me because they’re so desperate for a caretaker.
    [sub]
  9. How important is it for you to recieve oral sex ? If you don’t get any, does it damage your self esteem ? I’m talking about only you getting anything from it, not returning it to your SO.[/sub] I dumped the last chick because she wouldn’t do it. I did it to her, on several occasions. -At least, I think she wouldn’t do it: she liked playing rather rough, and I never tried to force her, because quite frankly that was really too much work for it to be fun for me. But I heard after the fact that she would do it if forced. I like to relax and enjoy it though.
    [sub]
    This list of questions comes from conversations I’ve had with some of my friends, Their husbands don’t really feel comfortable being asked these things and make don’t take the questions seriously. So, we ask for your opinions.[/sub]
    Here’s one for them: ask them if they had to wear one of your articles of clothing, which one would it be?
  • DougC
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  1. When your SO talks about their problems, do you find yourself just listening or do you try to think of ways to fix them? And do you ever feel responsible for their problems ?

My first instinct is always to try to fix things. I am learning to listen and offer suggestions only when asked.

  1. How do you feel about lingerie ? Does it turn you on ? Or does it just make you want to rip it off ? Or would you rather see your SO in an old T-shirt ?

Lingerie is great but the turn on is in the promise, not the garment.

  1. If you have been with your SO for a long time, do you still get butterflys in your stomach when you see her ?

Absolutely.

  1. How do you feel about women using your razor to shave their legs or anything else ?

I would prefer that she not do this, but mostly I just wish she would return it when she is finished.

  1. When you SO is in a bad mood is your first reaction “Oh man, she has PMS”?

My first reaction is “What did I do this time?”

  1. When it comes to romance, How do you feel about your SO initating it ? I’m not talking about sex as much as romance.

I wish she would initiate romance more often. To be fair, she probably wishes the same thing about me.

  1. If your SO is a homemaker, do you feel that all of the housework is her job or is it split evenly ? What percentage do you do ?

When we both worked, we split some chores and ignored others about equally. Now, she works full-time while I work only part-time, so I probably do more than 50%, but so what? If it needs doing, do it.

  1. What do you think of tomboys ? Women that can easily say a lot of bad words with out thinking about it, who don’t wear a lot of make-up or do their hair and don’t dress up a lot. Do you have a bad opinion of women like that ? If yes, Why ?

Marcie expresses herself as the occasion demands. Her descriptions can be quite colorful. She wears make up skillfully and in moderation. She dresses well for work and is less formal at home. She is not a tomboy, but she loves camping and the great outdoors in general. How could I have a bad opinion of a woman like that?

  1. How independant do you like women to be ? Does it hurt your self esteem if she can handle just about everything ? Do you like it when a woman needs you for a lot of things ?

Women should be as independant as they need/want to be. I have learned to not be threatened by independent women. I like to be needed for some things, even if the need is only for me to be around in case she needs me.

  1. How important is it for you to recieve oral sex ? If you don’t get any, does it damage your self esteem ? I’m talking about only you getting anything from it, not returning it to your SO.

This is much to personal an issue to discuss.

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  1. When your SO talks about their problems, do you find yourself just listening or do you try to think of ways to fix them? And do you ever feel responsible for their problems ?

This has been pointed out to me as a guy trait. When my wife starts complaining, I offer solutions. She then gets mad and asks me why I just can’t listen. My take is, if your going to bitch about something without looking for a solution then keep your bitching to yourself.

  1. How do you feel about lingerie ? Does it turn you on ? Or does it just make you want to rip it off ? Or would you rather see your SO in an old T-shirt ?

I really like nakedness. The lingere does very little for me.

  1. If you have been with your SO for a long time, do you still get butterflys in your stomach when you see her ?

sadly, no.

  1. How do you feel about women using your razor to shave their legs or anything else ?

Apart from the fact that a dull razor hurts to shave with, I really don’t care.

  1. When you SO is in a bad mood is your first reaction “Oh man, she has PMS”?

Never. My first thought is often ‘OK, what did I do this time?’

  1. When it comes to romance, How do you feel about your SO initating it ? I’m not talking about sex as much as romance.

She initiates romance quite often, but sometimes at awkward times like when I’m carrying something heavy up the stairs.

  1. If your SO is a homemaker, do you feel that all of the housework is her job or is it split evenly ? What percentage do you do ?
    She does the lion’s share of the homemaking and I do the lion’s share of the income making. However, we have, by default, ended up with tasks that are uniquely ours. For example, I’m responsible to going to the dump and she handles most of the laundry.

  2. What do you think of tomboys ? Women that can easily say a lot of bad words with out thinking about it, who don’t wear a lot of make-up or do their hair and don’t dress up a lot. Do you have a bad opinion of women like that ? If yes, Why ?

I like tomboys.

  1. How independant do you like women to be ? Does it hurt your self esteem if she can handle just about everything ? Do you like it when a woman needs you for a lot of things ?

I have a hard enough time living my own life, I refuse to live somebody elese too. My wife is my best friend and partner and she is capable to holding her own in everything. Frankly, I would find it annoying to be looked to for guidance on every thing she did.

  1. How important is it for you to recieve oral sex ? If you don’t get any, does it damage your self esteem ? I’m talking about only you getting anything from it, not returning it to your SO.

I like oral sex but it’s not tied in with my emotional well being.

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1. When your SO talks about their problems, do you find yourself just listening or do you try to think of ways to fix them? And do you ever feel responsible for their problems ? Yes and no to everything; it depends. Sometimes it frustrates me when she’s upset about something fixable, especially when I know how to fix it, but I’ve learned that she isn’t always seeking my advice, just an ear to chew on or shoulder to lean on. Sometimes I do feel responsible for her problems, though, especially when they’re my fault. :slight_smile: So, I forgot to pay the insurance . . . and hit a slippery spot . . . and skidded into the intersection just in time to be introduced to the Big Truck . . . oops!

2. How do you feel about lingerie ? Does it turn you on ? Or does it just make you want to rip it off ? Or would you rather see your SO in an old T-shirt ? “Sexy lingerie” is okay, but don’t go out and spend a lot of money on it for me because I think the tee-shirt is just as sexy. Sometimes more so. And I do like the ripping. Of course, everybody is different.

3. If you have been with your SO for a long time, do you still get butterflys in your stomach when you see her ? Is thirteen years a long time? Sometimes I still get the butterflies when I see her, especially after a long separation (absence makes the heart fonder, and all that).

4. How do you feel about women using your razor to shave their legs or anything else ? Leave it the hell alone, will you, you’ve got your own! :mad: God, that irritates me.

5. When you SO is in a bad mood is your first reaction “Oh man, she has PMS”? Not really. Someone might think me and my friends blame PMS for bad moods a lot because those three letters have sort have become code for “Damn, she’s really a bitch today!” But I think most of us realize that PMS isn’t the cause for most of our spouses’ bad moods.

6. When it comes to romance, How do you feel about your SO initating it ? I’m not talking about sex as much as romance. That’s fine, whether there’s sex or not. Initiate away!

7. If your SO is a homemaker, do you feel that all of the housework is her job or is it split evenly ? What percentage do you do ? Hard to say. She’s worked and stayed at home, I’ve worked and stayed at home, we’ve both worked . . . we’ve both worked away and at home . . . the situation has changed a lot over the years. For the most part, though, we both do certain things that have, over time, evolved into our respective duties. We’ve never really talked about it much, it’s just happened. There’s certain rooms that I just clean about 90% of the time and she doesn’t. And vice-versa. She deals with the kitchen and electrical/electronic stuff. I mess with the car and the stupid people (doctors, lawyers, mechanics, bill collectors, etc.). She almost always takes care of the baby during the day, and I almost always take care of her during the night.

8. What do you think of tomboys ? Women that can easily say a lot of bad words with out thinking about it, who don’t wear a lot of make-up or do their hair and don’t dress up a lot. Do you have a bad opinion of women like that ? If yes, Why ? Tomboys are great. I like to have fun with my wife, and sometimes that means messy hair and dirty hands. The same goes for most of my girlfriends in the past. And go ahead and swear if you like, it doesn’t bother me a bit . . . at least not usually. Which isn’t to say that I don’t like to see her all dressed up. It’s pretty situational really. You’ve got the Big Camping Trip and then you’ve got the Grand Ball . . .

9. How independant do you like women to be ? Does it hurt your self esteem if she can handle just about everything ? Do you like it when a woman needs you for a lot of things ? I love it when someone needs me; I hate it when somebody is needy. I do like the fact that my wife is smart, tough, self-sufficient, and independent. I don’t want to worry about her 24/7. I also like that she’s got her own life separate from mine.

10. How important is it for you to receive oral sex ? If you don’t get any, does it damage your self esteem ? I’m talking about only you getting anything from it, not returning it to your SO.

Oral sex is great. Just getting oral sex without any expectation of returning it is great. It’s kind of like waking up to breakfast in bed or coming home to a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. It’s a treat–one of the best. Of course, you have to do nice stuff for your wife as well, sometimes sexual, sometimes not. I like sex a lot, oral and otherwise; not getting any would be bad because I’m not getting any–it wouldn’t involve my self-esteem very much, though.

Any of that make sense? No? Good. I don’t understand the opposite sex, either. I wish you better luck with your quest than I’m having with mine. :wink:

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Questions for men and their thoughts about women
More questions for the guys in my endless quest to understand the way men think.

  1. When your SO talks about their problems, do you find yourself just listening or do you try to think of ways to fix them? And do you ever feel responsible for their problems ?

I try to fix them. Though I’m a terrible listener for basic stuff. My SO thinks way in advance. If its more than a month from now it pretty much falls off my radar screen. My SO has just been diagnosed with mild depression. I’m doing everything I can to listen and help with this problem. Yep, I can’t help to feel somehow responsible. Just the nature of the beast I think.

  1. How do you feel about lingerie ? Does it turn you on ? Or does it just make you want to rip it off ? Or would you rather see your SO in an old T-shirt ?

I have never seen a woman in lingerie. T-shirt works fine.

  1. If you have been with your SO for a long time, do you still get butterflies in your stomach when you see her ?

Been together about 9 years now. Butterflies? Not really. But, I like who I am and much of that has to do with her.

  1. How do you feel about women using your razor to shave their legs or anything else ?

Couldn’t care less
.
5. When you SO is in a bad mood is your first reaction “Oh man, she has PMS”?

My first reaction is what did I do, or how can I fix this. Now that I know that depression may be a problem, well makes it a little different.

  1. When it comes to romance, How do you feel about your SO initiating it ? I’m not talking about sex as much as romance.

Fine with me.

  1. If your SO is a homemaker, do you feel that all of the housework is her job or is it split evenly ? What percentage do you do ?

We both work. No kids. The house is both our jobs. I do more of the remodeling type stuff, she does more of the housework type stuff. But we both do both. Just depends on what you’re best at what you can do and when you can do it. No clear lines drawn, don’t need them.

  1. What do you think of tomboys ? Women that can easily say a lot of bad words with out thinking about it, who don’t wear a lot of make-up or do their hair and don’t dress up a lot. Do you have a bad opinion of women like that ? If yes, Why

The first and only time I saw my wife wear makeup was at our wedding. She wears her hair short and doesn’t even bother drying it. Fine with me.

  1. How independent do you like women to be ? Does it hurt your self esteem if she can handle just about everything ? Do you like it when a woman needs you for a lot of things ?

Interesting question. I would say I don’t like it if a woman needs me for a lot of things. We are both pretty independent. But we married at 35 so we where already pretty set in our ways. We are a team. And individuals.

  1. How important is it for you to receive oral sex ? If you don’t get any, does it damage your self esteem ? I’m talking about only you getting anything from it, not returning it to your SO.

Apparently, not very. And any guy that has low self esteem because he isn’t getting it has other issues.

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  1. I find myself listening.

  2. Turn on.

  3. Haven’t been with anyone for a while.

  4. Doesn’t matter.

  5. No.

  6. All for it.

  7. No homemaker, sorry.

  8. Tomboys are fine.

  9. Independence is good.

  10. It’s enjoyable.

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*1. When your SO talks about their problems, do you find yourself just listening or do you try to think of ways to fix them? And do you ever feel responsible for their problems ? * No SO, but when I do have them I always think of ways to fix them.

*2. How do you feel about lingerie ? Does it turn you on ? Or does it just make you want to rip it off ? Or would you rather see your SO in an old T-shirt ? * I have never cared what my SO wore. I liked lingerie as much as an old flannel and nothing else. Truly there were times when one or the other was more appreciated, but neither was ever a black mark.

*3. If you have been with your SO for a long time, do you still get butterflys in your stomach when you see her ? * Longest relationship I’ve had was just over two years, and no. I stopped getting butterflies after it was agreed that we were “together”.

*4. How do you feel about women using your razor to shave their legs or anything else ? * i don’t care.

*5. When you SO is in a bad mood is your first reaction “Oh man, she has PMS”? * No.

*6. When it comes to romance, How do you feel about your SO initating it ? I’m not talking about sex as much as romance. *Fine. In fact, I’m sorta needy like that.

*7. If your SO is a homemaker, do you feel that all of the housework is her job or is it split evenly ? What percentage do you do ? * N/A

*8. What do you think of tomboys ? Women that can easily say a lot of bad words with out thinking about it, who don’t wear a lot of make-up or do their hair and don’t dress up a lot. Do you have a bad opinion of women like that ? If yes, Why ? * I think: yum.

*9. How independant do you like women to be ? Does it hurt your self esteem if she can handle just about everything ? Do you like it when a woman needs you for a lot of things ? * I like both independence and neediness. There have been at least two women I’ve met that satisfied this requirement. Only needy and I get annoyed, only independent and I feel like I stir no feelings in her.

*10. How important is it for you to recieve oral sex ? If you don’t get any, does it damage your self esteem ? I’m talking about only you getting anything from it, not returning it to your SO. * It isn’t important but greatly appreciated.

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