“What are those dogs doing, Mommy?”
“Honey, what did you do with that old flannel shirt I like?”
“What did you do in the Vietnam War?”
“So what did the boss say to you this morning?”
“So what does your report card look like?”
“Guilty or not guilty?”
“Does anybody know where the car keys are?”
“So, son, what kind of chore would you like to do to help your old Dad today?”
the dog quote made my think of a very stupid comment I made once. I was 15 and on a farm with a bunch of Christians when a rooster jumped onto a chicken, feathers a-flyin. “LOOK DAD! THAT ROOSTER IS ATTACKING THAT CHICKEN!!!”…whoops. Then it hit me. Dad took a good look at me and say “um…thats not what its doing son.”…mybad.
oh, and to the origional post:
“Do these pants make my butt look big?”
“Detention after school? What? Why on earth did you get detention?!”
“What’s that smell?”
“Who’s in the shallow grave in the backyard?”
“Why is your brother crying and pointing at you?”
“Did I just see you drinking from the carton?”
“Daddy, what does ‘cunnilingus’ mean?”
Why is The Button blinking?
What does “Fatal Exception Error” on the computer running Payroll mean?
Who let the dogs out?
So, do you remember what today is?
Is there anything you need to tell me?
Did you eat the last piece if candy/piece of cake/slice of pizza/french fry/bit of ice cream/or any other type of food that I’d had more than my fair share of.
Would you rather watch the Dukes of Hazzard or Starsky and Hutch?
Would you rather sleep with Howard Stern or Fat Bastard?
“Soooo, umm, after that, what did you do with the babysitter’s corpse?”
Nah. It’s all the greasy food and chocolate you eat that does that.
“Why was the mailman in your bedroom?”
“What are you thinking?”
Sometimes the honest answer is “nothing,” but I don’t think anyone who has asked that question has ever accepted that as an answer.
When did you stop beating your wife?
“So, Tripler, got a girlfriend yet?” :rolleyes:
Tripler
Is death by strangulation manslaughter or murder?
What the hell’s that all over your shirt?
How did you get it stuck in there?
How did you manage to get home?
[sub]Please note, the most incorrect answer to that last one would be, “It was easy; it’s not like you moved the house, or anything.” said in a slurred, drunken voice at 5:30 in the morning. Following this up by cracking up at your own wry and cultured sense of humor is generally gonna get you chucked into a cold shower, clothes, mud, blood and all.[/sub]
“Who’s your Daddy?!?”
“Do you really have your mind on your money and your money on your mind?”
Are you a boy or a girl?
In public:
“So explain to me the intensely personal reasons for which you decided to have sex before marriage.”
“Describe to me your beliefs on this hot-button topic.”
“Describe to me your thoughts back when you wished to inflict massive pain on a group or people or area.”