Do you know the muffin man?
What’s that sore on your penis?
My mom, to me - when I was 16. The morning after my best friend Steve slept over:
“Did Steve sleep on the floor? The guest bed’s still made.”
Why are there three dead hookers in your trunk?
Why are your teeth so big?
Boy, what I would have given to be in your shoes today. 
THE ALL TIME WORST ONE EVER.
I know it’s been mentioned before, but it is the most tactless question anyone can ever ask a person:
“So. How come you two haven’t had any kids yet?”
No one’s ever asked me that, obviously, but I’ve been present when that one came up. I felt so bad for the couple.
/hijack/
Nah, I LOVE answering that one. I read so many books on sexuality, sexual mores,sexual confusion, homosexuality, etc. it really is classic to see people’s faces when I tell them just WHAT I am reading.
/end hijack/
Asked by polite, well-scrubbed young man standing beside me in an ICU bed (with a dozen tubes/wires connected to god-knows-what), immediately after the medical staff had quickly exited:
“Is there anyone you wish to have present?”
Could you send em my way? 
The muffin man?
The muffin man!
Shouldn’t you get that necrotic sore checked?
“Do you really, really, honestly love me?”
“Where do you see the two of us like 5 years from now?”
“Are you really going to bed or are you just trying to get off the phone?”
“Have you been drinking?”
“Were you looking at that other girl?”
“Do you masterbate when I’m not around? If you do, do you think about me?”
:eek:
So, who’s that guy all done up in leather, and chained to the ceiling, in the back room?
When’s the last time you looked in the cold cuts drawer in the frig?
“Is your wife pregnant?”
(According to my younger sister, some fan walked up to John Lennon apparently when he was relaxing in an English pub. He was drinking a Coke at the time and was so angry at the personal question he squeezed his hand and crushed the Coke bottle! :eek: )