Quickly quickly! Your smart-assery is requested!

“If penises could do what a vagina can do…they’d be on postage stamps!”

  • Jane Fonda

Does this not demand some witty, oneliner replies? Something about licking postage stamps? A translation of “Anything you can do I can do better?” People…this cries out for your attention!

It’s your own personal Jay Leno monologue…run with it.

jarbaby

Hell, Put them on a postage stamp all you want, but you still cant get a married woman to lick it.
[ba-dum]
Thank you, I’m here all week!

“If I could do what Jane Fonda does, then I’d… well… ummm…”

Oooolllld joke:

Little Billy runs into Suzy on the street. He decides to mess with her head.

Billy: I’ve got a brand new ball.
Suzy: I’ve got a ball, too.
Billy: I’ve got a brand new bike.
Suzy: I’ve got a new bike, too.
Billy drops his pants: I’ve got one of these!

Suzy cries and runs away. The next day, Billy runs into Suzy again.

Billy: I’ve got a brand new ball.
Suzy: I’ve got a ball, too.
Billy: I’ve got a brand new bike.
Suzy: I’ve got a new bike, too.
Billy drops his pants: I’ve got one of these!

Suzy lifts her skirt and says, “So what? I’ve got one of THESE, and my Mommy says with this, I can get all of THOSE that I want!”

Yeah, but would who would you rather have sex with? A guy, or a stamp?

Wouldn’t this give the phrase “playing with your stamp collection” a whole new meaning?

I thought all three ended up wet and sticky after use, anyway…

Gives a whole new meaning to Her Majesties Royal Male Service.

And if vaginas could do what a penis can do…they’d be on Oprah!

And unlike normal letters they’d arrive too soon rather than too late!

If penises could do what a vagina can do… we wouldn’t need vaginas!

Way to go, Jane!

p.s. Get off our side. Love, the N.O.W.

Imagine spending an afternoon engaged in hot, steamy philately. :wink:

Hmm, yess, I was going to say something about being a world-class philatelist…

And of course, Tabithina,
Your post absolutely begs the question,

Have You? Lately?

Big Chin Jay…

Okay, so, so far we’ve found out that Jane’s vagina can talk.

But what else can it do?

Nope. I stopped doing philately after I got married.:stuck_out_tongue:

Yeah, but nobody wants to see a bleeding penis every month.

Yeah, but who wants to try to stick a tampon up a penis?

Yeah, but how big would a penis have to be to give birth to a child? (And how many women would sleep with a man like that?)

Yeah, but you’re still a Communist whore, so STF up.

I wonder what side the adhesive should be put on? :confused:

I know Jane’s trying to push the envelope, but postage stamp penises? They’d just fall flat…

  1. In Florida, maybe they’ll have postal dysfunction?

  2. The following people are not allowed near these stamps:

Bob Dole
Lorena Bobbitt

Don’t you mean they’d COME too soon?