“… learn to fly, or else it will get all busted and dead when it crashes horribly on the unforgivingly stony soil of the cold-hearted mother earth.”
“Ask not for whom the bell tolls - it tolls for…”
“YOU! And it was the last bell. You are late for history class for the third time this week.”
“He who hesitates…”
“…umm…umm…I can’t think of anything…”
“Give me your tired, your poor,…”
“… No, on second thought, give me your rich, your vivacious, your hardbodied, your buxom, your sexually adventurous…”
“The cat’s in the cradle and the silver…”
“…and part of it’s in the damn sink, I TOLD you not to put a cherry bomb in its ass.”
“Yankee Doodle went to…”
“…court to have his name legally changed to Yankee Deedle.”
“Greensleeves was my…”
“…name too! Whenever we go out, the people always shout, there goes…”
“But there is no joy in Mudville,…”
pet name for the woman whose blouse I puked all over."
"The three words ending in -gry are…
trying to clean up the simulpost…
“But there is no joy in mudville…
…because the mudslidesknocked down everybody’s houses and carried away their pets and loved ones to the sea.”
“The three words ending in -gry are…”
“… pie, asshat, and Hi Opal”
“This weeken I intend to …”
“…add a ‘d’ to the word ‘weekend’ in my dictionary.”
“If you could read my mind, love…”
“…It would be a dirty short story.”
“The difference between a man and a boy is…”
“still baffling scientists worldwide.”
"“The footsteps are telling me…”
“… that wearing wooden clogs is not a good idea for a nija master like me”
“A Mars a day helps you work, rest, and …”
“… maintain your sugar buzz.”
“Prince Ferdinand the Flatulent fears no one for he…”
“always has a bodyguard tatse his food before he eats it.”
“They didn’t know how to make mashed potatoes…”
“… so they used wallpaper paste instead”
“Some men were born to be slaves, but I was born to be…”
“…a woman.”
"I really enjoy sleeping, but lately…
“I’ve been having that nightmare in which I’ve been appointed to the United States Court of Appeals and Senator Chuck Schumer keeps asking me how I would rule in a case involving a Chinese retaurant that consistently hands out negative, fear-inducing fortunes to members of the Canadian Coast Guard.”
“Whenever I sit next to an old woman on a bus…”
“… I feel strangely compelled to get off at whichever stop she gets off at and help her across the crosswalk. Damn my parents for insisting that I become a boy scout! I’m in my late 40’s, for the love of god!”
“How do you solve a problem like…”