“…those who have the gold leave deep footprints.”
" 'Triangulum/
triangulate/
I will not bum/
Like a cheapskate/
But rather I’ll/
Work hard and earn/
Stars in my file/
And when my turn/
Comes round for pay/
I’ll proudly queue/
Praising the day/
And my boss too.’
The above annoying poem was instrumental in triggering the Revold of 1847, when hordes of unemployed shoemakers…"
“went on strike.”
“My aunt made me cookies so…”
“…mmm cookies…what was I saying again?”
“My quest is…”
“…we seek the Holy George Foreman Grill. No, hang on… AAAARRGH!”
“Baby, you make me feel like taking my clothes off when you…”
“set me on fire.”
“I swing from a vine…”
“…I’m glad that you’re mine, you’ve got a cute behind, and you don’t smell like swine. Love, Tarzan”
“Louis and the rest of the prisoners had been crawling through the tunnel for what seemed like hours. As they emerged into the cool night air, they were greeted by…”
“…several dozen emaciated programmers bearing an effigy of Bill Gates.”
“Fee Fi Fo Fum! I smell the blood of an…”
“…ancient bum.”
“I’ve fallen and I…”
“…accidentally got this here action figure up my ass.”
“Where there’s smoke…”
“…there’s ire.”
“Sleep…”
“…at the Regal Inn, rates as low as $9.99 an hour!!”
“If you can’t beat 'em…”
“…then whisk them and drop em in a pan of hot oil.”
“At my funeral I plan to suprise everybody by jumping up and shouting…”
“why don’t they put more padding in these caskets! It’s damn uncomfortable lying in here.”
“Don’t make me come in there…”
“and lubricate your toes.”
“Help! They glued my…”
lipth together.
The difference between a conservative and a liberal is…
they both get on my nerves, but in a different way.
Caution: product may contain…
“… hellfire, death, demons, and pestilence. Do not microwave.”
“It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel…”
like a beer.
Everything tastes better when it sits…
…upon the face of someone you love.
"Don’t listen to negative…
“…ions when positive ions have much greater electrochemical audio fidelity.”
“In the jungle, the mighty jungle…”