“… you Only half as snotty :today, your spandex has come back from the cleaners, and your shield has been repainted”
“Silly rabbit, Trix is for …”
“…them workin’ girls to turn! Who ever heard of a rabbit ho?”
“Now is the time for all good men to…”
“… stop sodamizing, His4Ever doesn’t think God approves”
“Silent Night, Holy Night, …”
“that’s a nice song, but can’t you guys just sing ‘For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow’?”
-Jesus, to His Apostles
“I volunteered to be in the dunk tank at the carnival, not knowing…”
“…that it was actually a vat of helium-laced astringent, which is why I’m typing this in such a high and squeaky voice.”
“Onward, onward, onward rode the three hundred…”
"…cowboys, until they came upon a toll booth. “Now somebody’s gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes!”
“Oh the drums go bang and the cymbals clang and the horns they blaze away…”
“as the annual Car Thief Appreciation Day Parade gets underway.”
“We have the best pastries and…”
“…the girls put them on their breasts and spin them. What? They’re supposed to put pasties on their breasts and spin them? No wonder we don’t have many repeat customers!”
“All day, all night Maryanne. Down by the seaside…”
… men go shopping for ladies, you should know that!"
"I remember back in 1915 we had to…
“…walk to the internet cafe, through snow for 12 miles. It was uphill all the way, some of us got frostbite, and we had to bring our own hamsters, and WE LIKED IT!” “Darn kids these days.”
“The fellow atop his tractor in the reflecting pool is yet another sign of…”
“The New Zodiac.”
“This family is new to the neigborhood, and if you wouldn’t mind…”
…wearing clothes for next few weeks, you know just until they’ve settled into the neighbourhood"
"Who the hell left that…
“…trebuchet in the cocked position? The kids might launch the dog into the next County!”
“Imagine Cecil’s surprise when out of his Birthday cake popped…”
danceswithcats!"
“Waitaminute…so all this time it was really…”
“…William Shatner who was leading the Coalition?”
“If you go down to the woods today…”
“to try to sell dance lessons to that old hermit who lives alone in the cottage, be sure to tell him he still owes me for the aluminum siding I sold him last November.”
“For those about to rock…”
“Go to the bathroom now, we won’t have time later.”
“Standing on the dock at Southampton…”
“…we threw rocks at seagulls.”
“Yea though I walk through the valley…”
“of the shadow of hunger, I will fear no cheesecake as it is my diet who shall save me.”
“Let me see that sexy body…”
“…because, right now, it’s invisible and blocking the view.”
“To remove the outer housing of the DaveCo L-717 thrustor pump, remove the screws in listed order, as detailed in Figure 15. Remove the cover by gently…”