“improvise and use the Goober Grape Jelly.”
“Next week on Fox, a new reality series debuts. Watch as 50 men and women…”
“… are dumped naked in the middle of the Himilayas. See how they survive with no food water identification or money. Who will be the canibals and who will be lunch?”
“The worst injury in last month’s naked Olympics was …”
“…to the national pride of Guatemala.”
“Before Danimal was banned for…”
“… feltching the wrong goat!, it was generally believed that all goat feltching was permitted”
“People in glass houses shouldn’t …”
“…operate jackhammers.”
“You can take the girl out of the country, but…”
“…she would rather you took her on the couch right here and now.”
“Never in the field of human conflict have so many…”
“…said and done so many stupid things.”
“I regret that I have but one life…”
“… long ambition, to pogo stick accross America wearing only chainmail underwear”
“The hills are alive…”
…RUN!"
“We’ll be right back, after this word from our…”
“…parole officer.”
“England expects that every man shall…”
“… well… they expect that… oh just forget it, damn the man!”
“Fish gotta swim and…”
“refrain from laughing at auctions.”
“Quitting smoking now greatly reduces…”
“…the profits of Philip Morris, thus throwing thousands out of work and sparking a new recession. Die of lung cancer, it’s your patriotic duty.”
“Ever since you became my husband…”
“I’ve considered myself nothing less than a married woman.”
“The cool thing about bumber cars…”
“I’ve had an uncontrollable desire for large eggplants.”
“Everybody, move your feet and feel…”
“…the bullets snap by your head. Move your feet faster, the 3rd Division’s catching up!”
“Oh, say can you see, by the dawn’s early light…”
“…that you forget to turn on your alarm clock last night and you’re going to be late for work.”
“I see a bad moon rising…”
… so lets cuff the dirty ******* and hall his ass in jail!"
"I’m gonna sit on your knee, shove mustard up your nose and make you…
“… sneeze all over me. Then you’ll have to lick me clean, you naught boy.”
“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but …”
“if you really want to do some damage, use a Gatling Gun.”
“I’ll have a chocolate malt…”