“…go postal if you scream like that again and waste every &**^@# ‘Customer Assistance Representaitive’ in this whole &$%)( mall.”
"Bob…
“… 's your Aunt now, after the opperation”
“In 1537 the world land speed record was held by…”
“the cheetah, just like it is now.”
“If that barmaid ever cuts me off again…”
“… I’m going to ram hot bananas up her nose”
“That’s no moon…”
“…light shining beneath your sister’s bedroom door! She’s making another art film with the Laotian midget jai alai team.”
“The whole of history is incomprehensible without…”
“3-D glasses.”
“When I found out babies weren’t brought in by a stork…”
“…I felt much less guilty about shooting the stork.”
“Latin is essentially Polish as spoken by dyslexic nuns who are…”
…trying to work out the real truth about Pythagoras’ theory whilst running half naked in a field of green grass and clovers"
"A piece of my brain is missing, is it in…
Blue_poop is now kissing Sir Bippys knees 
“…quarantine?”
“Many American cartoonists have adopted an archaic style reminiscent of the 1940s and 1950s, times when it seemed that America was confident and knew who it was. The others…”
“will be shot for lack of patriotism, but you didn’t hear it from me”
“Mommy, mommy, look…”
“…I made poo poo that looks like the joint Bill didn’t inhale.”
“A Tom Jones record, a bottle of whisky, a willing hedgehog, and you have…”
“enough for a hung jury.”
“The first hanging…”
“…is the best hanging. After that, the crowds dwindle.”
“Love means never having to say…”
"“Drop and give me 20!’”
“My life seemed so complete: I had a good job, a wife…”
“…and she didn’t know the number or address where I worked.”
“There she was, just a walkin’ down the street singin’…”
“…and a beautiful pet alligator. Well, I still have the alligator.”
“Half a league, half a league, half a league onward, into the valley of Death rode…”
“…the Enron executives.”
" ‘Good heavens, Miss Yamamoto, you’re…’ "
“…Asian!”
“Step right up and see the…”
… amazing… oh nevermind its gone now, shame really"
"How I get clothes that fit, I dont know! Ive got two legs, 5 breasts, 3 arms and…
“no money.”
“The officer advised me of my right to remain silent…”