…and am I glad? No I am not, it just gives me more time to dread going back to work, I’m stuck in a loop"
" The cheese in Belise stays mainly on the…"**
“… knees and bellies of the Chinese striptease.”
" I laughed so much that my …"
lungs just colasped on themselves and created a mini blackhole!"
“I found out my dog ate my tampon. How i found out was the interesting part:…”
“…it was either that or Benji had taken to eating cotton! So much for recycling.”
“A herd of cows running off a cliff can be disconcerting for motorists when…”
the moon is not out yet" get it? cow over moon? mouhahahaha…haha…ha…ahem
“A good semeritan is a…”
“…close relation to the Good Samaritan, although their comparative goodness has yet to be studied by an accredited body.”
“Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night…”
look at him! he’s still chewin on his wooden chair"
“The eclips of the moon happened yesterday. it was the most beautiful thing i have ever seen…”
since that fat guy who work in the produce section had his pants fall down"
"Warden threw a party in the county jail,
The prision band was there and they began to wail…
untill they finnaly connected the wires for the electric show"
“your cousin did something very horrible…”
“…although melodious, which was to fart Handel’s Royal Fireworks,while playing accompaniment for herself on the recorder. Quite impressive.”
“The more things change, the more they…”
“…become altered, yet retaining a basic similarity to the form alluded to in the previous post.”
“Onward Christian Soldiers…”
“…making as if to conflict with enemies in a deadly fashion.”
“Violence grows, and the blood runs freely to decompose…”
…and this is the best time to get those herbacious borders in the ground"
" This electronic message contains information which may be priviledged or confidential…"**
“… and may not be viewed as constructing any binding contract between the reader and his demonic majesty Bill (ygoat Hell) Gates”
“Thieves broke into my car on Friday noght and stole my …”
“…dictionary, explaining why noght is entered in place of night, unless noght is a legitimate word in another language.”
“We have ignition sequence. We have full engine burn. We have…”
“…liftoff. I repeat, we have liftoff. And Nigel’s Extra-Spicy Curried Chicken claims another lunchtime victim.”
“When standing in the Senate chamber, it is important not to…”
“…grope interns. Rules reserve that right for Senators, only.”
“The best part about waking up…”
“…is peeling yourself off the underside of the bed and then finding out who the other people in the room are.”
“Press F1 to…”
“… dymap thy kyebrado”
“The goriest Bollywood film ever produced was …”
“…Sam Peckinpah and Deepa Mehta’s Crimson Saffron and the Stupa of Doom.”
"King Ferdinand looked through the peephole into the waiting area for the throne room, then turned to his wife. ‘Bella, dear, it looks like that Columbus guy is here again. Cripes. He’s worse than that spice salesmen from Venice. Let’s give him a couple of crappy ships and get him out of our hair.’ Queen Isabella turned to her husband, smiled, and said, "I have a better idea. Invite him in, and I’ll…’ "