“… show him the first 20 positions in the Karma Sutra. He’ll be so keen to get to India after that.’, then I could command him to ‘Find the fabled Western route to India.’ We won’t hear from that slimey bugger again.”
“The best thing about being a zombie is …”
“…never having to say you’re sorry.”
“Cola, the great carbonated beverage discovery of ninetheeth-century Usono, was responsible for…”
…a number of reasons, one of these being that cola was the first soft-drink charged with the task of baby-sitting five unruly kids whilst their mothers were away at work. Lilt on the other hand stayed in bed all day and smoked pot."
" Seemingly the fix is in, you didn’t hear it from me but…"**
“…you’ll continue to wonder why it is still broken.”
“Having seen the horrific sight, Nelson sought only the surface, and swam upward, ignoring the mental messages that he should stop and decompress to avoid nitrogen sickness. Once there, he said…”
" ’ Darling, the workers who put in the swimmingpool, did they have to use pink and green checkered tiles for the bottom?’ "
“The worship of the great old ones was recently revived by …”
“…Bill Gates, George Bush, and Conrad Black. Not that they needed that advantage as well…”
“The Escape key is useful for…”
"…escapism, however I prever the Reality key. I suspect it is adjacent to the ever evasive Any key.
“Maria. I just met a girl named Maria. And suddenly that name will never…”
“be the same for me,
Maria has a face like a Baboon’s posterior,
suffers from rickets and diphtheria”
“The Submit button is used for …”
“…submission. Maria taught me that oeuvre, and I can still feel the smart sting of her riding crop on my privates. The Generals, were not so fortunate.”
“Surrender is essentially an operation by means of which we set about…”
“…self-wormification.”
“Bur what if I donèt îç want^éiç my p^^piîçig þ þç Ç ??%$ …”
cough excuse me…that rat-ragoo tried to exit again"
"Whilst running away from a cold blodded murderer, Salina had to get people to come to her aid. Suddenly she stumbled.The killer was gaining on her…fast…
“…such that she decided to act as a Philadelphia City Council member, roll over and be taken, her vote thereby secured.”
“Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work we go…”
“…on the vice squad. Hi, ho! Hi, ho!”
“And if the band you’re in starts playing different tunes…”
“…perhaps it’s time for you to pull out your instrument and retune it. Please don’t do so in front of children or ladies of modest composure.”
“Good King Sauerkraut, look out! On your feets uneven…”
“…mud be on the palace floor, track-ed in by Steven.”
“Tell me, my countrymen, are we willing to let this thread die, or…”
…shall we torture it some more in the name of high post counts?"
“It’s not so much a thread now as it is a living pink rope, every post is like a new blood vessel engorging the…”**
Ask not, what your post count can do for you, but what you can do for the Dopers. (riotous applause)
“…membership to thrust forward, again and again, in hope of fertilizing tomorrow, or at least having a cigarette afterwards.”
“You must remember this, a kiss is still a kiss, A sigh is just a sigh;…”
“…but a quickie during your lunch break makes it easier to put up with work all afternoon.”
“There’s no business like…”
“…snow business. Except during the summer.”
“My desk is not a mess… it’s…”
“… a multifaceted extension of my continuing work processes in facilitating the speedy exposition of the current project.”
“If you can’t beat them, and you can’t join them, then …”