… and so is finishing this sentance with a PG rating."
"All our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to …
“… sentence this parse complex me for is to”
“The ‘G’ spot can be found …”
“…between the F and H spots, except on Esperanto keyboards, where it is Shift-T.”
“MMM! President’s Choice brand Swedish meatballs!..”
“… Put the President’s meat in your mouth today” Will be our new advertising slogan, we have allready signed up Monica Lewinski as our sales spokesperson.
"Sex sells, but Feltching …
…is the only way to really get a bite outta that marketplace"**
" Breakin the law Breakin the law, Breakin the law Breakin the law…"
“…and that concludes this episode of VH1’s Where Are They Now?”
“The last time I went to the grocery store, they were all out of butter…”
“… so i cut my foot off, put it in a bag and danced around in the street”.
“It would seem like wisdom but for…”
“… the fact that even though Cyanide tablets do indeed guarantee you will not die of Cancer or Aids, they are non the less not congruent to a long lifespan.”
“You know you are getting to old to boogie when …”
When theres a guy at the disco who follows you around all night with a coffin in a wheelbarrow.
“Changs Mongolian Grill - ’ Its a Griller War and…”
“…we’ll make sure you like our meat…or else.”
“There are times I reflect on moments spent with my Grandpa, just the two of us, he would impart little jewels of wisdom, such as…”
“…don’t play in the Paelozoic era”
“Hey, I think I finally worked out what that thing I found in my shoes was, cos it looked kinda like…”
“…Anita Rydberg. But it was really a twelve-dimensional toenail cleaner. Didn’t work worth a shit though.”
“While walking through Humber Bay Park today, I looked down into the water and saw an enormous…”
“…Nuprin. Little. Yellow. Different.”
“I tasted a drop of the real world when I went down on…”
“…the Amazon”
“To err is human,…”
“…to whine about your issues and hire a lawyer is divine.”
“Once she’d gotten on her health kick, Jacquelle was dismayed to read the label of the low-fat vegetable mix, in that it contained…”
“Lyonnaisse! Mon Dieu, said she, you can’t hide your lyonnaise!”
“Raising the mighty Blade of Thunders, he bellowed his war cry:…”
SHIT!! I’M REALLY ALIVE! I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M STILL ALIVE!"
" Wohoa there buddy,…"
" . . . that llama is NOT a ride and that is NOT a coin slot."
"Speaking of which, the other day I DID see that guy . . . "
“… doing the money dance at a wedding with the groom!” (we’re talking a heterosexual wedding here, eh? no funny ideas…)
“Are you sure you’ve recovered from your burns? You look…”
…pink and shiny, like silly putty"
“It was a sad day when the stick insects escaped, especially when Grandma told me that she’d…”