“…after being hit by a choo-choo train. There ya ’ are kiddies, who wants another story from ‘The Big Sick Bastard’s Book of Eerily Unsettling Tales’?”
“Mums, roses, orchids, daisies…”
“’…a diet of these will incite quazies.’ So spake the poetic hippo in the foreign film, Lydia Visits the Zoo.”
“In this experiment, the hampster is placed in the ordinary wheel, except the cage has been fitted with low friction ball bearings, and during times of peak demand, bursts of nitrogen will be supplied to effect speeding of the hampster wheel to speeds exceeding 20K RPM. Should the hampster fail to keep up, we’ll learn…”
“…it really wasn’t much fun to watch.”
“Slothful Sam sat silently, sullenly swapping…”
“…speciously spinous suggestions, spitefully seeking subterfuge.”
“Now that we’ve learned the hampster can endure speeds of 20K RPM, it’s time to see if…”
“…Myron Thistlebottom can do the same in the big wheel.”
“Walls aren’t the only non-traditional use for…”
“…monkey feces.”
“It would appear that we’re out of time, kiddies, as Uncle Joey wants to…”
“…hose down the room for the next program. Put on your clothes, pick up your accessories, and anyone with chafing see the nurse in Room 7.”
“Ellie! Whyd’ja go an’ do that? Whyd’ja go an’…”
"…"buy 50 videocasettes of ‘Gigli’ "
“Over and over and over, they tumble, they crash, they…”
“…just don’t do well being dried out in a household clothes dryer, those pesky cellphones.”
“As Frank sighted the moose entering the clearing and brought his rifle sight into position, he noticed that the moose was wearing…”
“…ever more company.”
“I can’t live without…”
“…even(*) more company” **
BAH! Where did those come from. Ok, I shall try again.
“…spectacles and smoking a pipe.”
again I say…
“I can’t live without…”
“…the thundering of the mighty Hamster. I can’t breathe without HTTP and HTML. I can’t think without the guidance of internet chat rooms and messaging services. I am an empty vessel, waiting to be filled.”
“Sk8terboi. It was a sk8terboi. Just the luck. Bruce knew he was going to have difficulty…”
“…getting those lick and stick tattoos off his buttocks before his annual physical tomorrow.”
“Do you have the faith? Do you have the courage? Then close your eyes, put your hands in the air and…”
“… shake them all about. That’s what it’s all about.
You put your right leg in. You put your right leg out…”
“My name is Friday, and I carry…”
“…a calendar, just in case I forget my name.”
“I can’t stand it when the thing doesn’t do what the thing is supposed to do, every time…”
“…it does something else, and if something doesn’t do the thing it’s supposed to, what good is it, other than art, and even then some things are better than other things, but even so, how can I if she makes me?”
“So after the king broke his word and let his army torch Granada…”
“… he had Ollie North shred Iran-Contra documents.”
“A stitch in time, …”
“… is all we need to get through the wormhole that encompasses
HalsmarXIX. On second thought, it’ll take care of this loose cuff button. Screw you guys, I’m goin’ home.”
“Two poodles, colliding with a rabid Pomeranian…”
“…can be shown to yield a slow-moving Alsatian plus up to three Golden Lab puppies, depending on the total frequency and angular momentum of the incident canids. As the exchange entities in this case have been demonstrated to be Ctenocephalides felis in 90% of cases, there is less than a 3% chance that the Alsatian will be in a bad mood after the reaction.”
“The sewers of Paris were home to one of Europe’s most famous families of…”