“…obey the laws of gravity. Come down from that ceiling now!”
“You seem like a nice guy, so why is it every time I touch you…”
“…I start speaking Bulgarian?”
“Once upon a midnight dreary…”
…I worked developing quantum theory."
“Good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye, singin’…”
“…I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE!”
“I’d like to teach the world to…”
“…f&*k, in trenchant pulchritude!”
“And if you don’t agree to this oh-so-reasonable measure, the terrorists have already…”
“… discovered the third word ending in gry !”
“If I said you had a beautiful body would you …”
“…ask not what your country could do for you, but what you could do for me?”
“A fool and his money…”
‘’…had a hell of a time getting together in the first place."
“Rock and roll hootchie-koo…”
“…should never be confused with Rock and roll cootchie-coo.”
“There’s no business like…”
“…contract killing.”
“O, I die, Horatio. The potent poison…”
“…is killing me”
“If you can’t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you’d best…”
“…pours through my person, percolating into my pancreas, my pinkies, and my privates.”
“One, two, three-o-clock, four-o-clock…”
“…Oh, wait. I’m not dying. Just a little gassy. My bad”
"My Momma always said, “Life is like a …”
“… of our unrequited love, makes me swoon for a kiss”
“Some people have all the …”
“…simulposts.”
“How much wood would a woodchuck…”
“…use if he were building a 2700 square foot house.”
“Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children…”
“…to simmer gently for 2 hours before serving”
"Sex with you is like … "
“…parsing infinitives while ‘dipping cheese’ at the Royal Ballet.”
“One fine sunny day in Cuddleburg, the little town that stands at the base of Big Candy Rock Mountain, Big Bob the Builder loaded his truck with all kinds of neat-o tools and wood and supplies and went out to build a shiny new house. When he got to the building site, right next to Polly Wolly McTavish’s farm, he discovered…”
“…the meaning of life.”
“Which twin has the …”
“… prettyest? Arnold Schwartznegger or Danny Devito?”
“I like my burgers with plenty of …”