“Sometimes We Bring Heartache Upon Ourselves”
- Dave Foley in “Letter to a Guy I Clotheslined While Riding His Bike”
Okay, I’ll add another Spike quote from Buffy -
From the Zero Effect
Daryl Zero: Now, a few words on looking for things. When you go looking for something specific, your chances of finding it are very bad. Because of all the things in the world, you’re only looking for one of them. When you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good. Because of all the things in the world, you’re sure to find some of them.
Very true. I use this theory when researching music for stage productions.
“How Hong became the rebel king of half of China is a story like that of Napoleon Bonaparte or Adolf Hitler, full of drama, the mysteries of chance, and personal and social factors much debated ever since.”
-John Fairbank
“It takes intelligence to enjoy humor and wit, but none to be offended by it.”
Johnny Hart
“Here I am worrying myself away into a stick! In the dark! And you’re out scoffing chips from some tart’s lap? Where’s my tart, I want chips and tart.”
Bernard from Black Books
You illegal sword carrying dumb redheaded long haired jerk! You cross-shaped scarfaced weirdo and you have lousy taste in kimonoes by the way.
-from Rurouri Kenshin my new favorite show. Its’ even funnier if you know the context.
Calvin & Hobbes:
Calvin sits at what looks to be a lemon-ade stand but is instead labeled with “A good swift kick .25cents”
Hobbes: “Any takers?”
Calvin: “nah.”
Hobbes: “Hard to believe.”
Calvin: “I can’t understand it. Everybody I know needs what I’m selling.”
more Calvin and Hobbes:
Calvin to Miss Wormwood:
“You can present the material…but you can’t make me care”
Since we’re doing Calvin & Hobbes…
Calvin is in daydream sequence again, and get’s interrupted by Mrs. Wormwood.
Wormwood: We’re studying geography! Now, what state do you live in?
Calvin: Denial.
Wormwood: Sigh…don’t suppose I can argue with that.
"If only the prettiest birds would sing, how quiet the forest would be". - Unknown
"You’re climbing a giant pile of cow shit to pluck from the top one perfect rose, and after making that hideous ascent, you find that you’ve lost your sense of smell." - Harlan Ellison (probably not word for word, but close. From his book Mephisto in Onyx
From Florence King’s memoir Confessions of a Failed Southern Lady, about the difficulty of writer finding a date in a city filled with bureaucrats.
“Writers make everybody nervous, but we terrify Silly Service workers. Our apartments always look like a front for something, and no matter how carefully we tidy up for guests we always seem to miss the note card that says ‘Margaret has to die soon.’”
This one is funniest if you some of the history surrounding the characters, but even just as a stand-alone quote it’s hilarious:
“Confused Jean? Sudden doubts about what this means for you and Scotty – for your cozy little marriage, maybe – in the wake of MY wake? No fear, girlfriend. Not about THAT, at least. Been there, done that. And his little brother too.” – Madelyne Pryor to Jean Grey about their shared husband Scott, from X-Man #25.
And another, a great dialogue from two of my favorite characters in George R.R. Martin’s ASoIaF:
The Hound: “There are no true knights, no more than there are gods. If you can’t protect yourself, die and get out of the way of those who can. Sharp steel and strong arms rule this world, don’t ever believe any different.”
Sansa: “You’re horrible.”
The Hound: “I’m honest. It’s the world that’s horrible.” – from “A Clash of Kings”, p.553.
“She was born an asshole and just got worse.” – my uncle about my mother. Heehee. If you ever had the misfortune to meet her, you’d know why this is an uncommonly apt quote.
“A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.” – from my boy Nietzsche.
.:Nichol:.
Hominid Aureate Firearm Bearer, that one is so on the permanent list of my favorite quotes.
I really like this one that I stumbled across in E. M. Forster’s “Passage to India.”
“Give, do not lend; after death who will thank you?”[ul]Nawab Bahadur[/ul]
Think Globally, Act Locally - Rene DuBos
From the film Parenthood about being a parent: “It never ends. You never cross the goal and spike the ball. It’s like your Aunt Marge’s ass. It goes on forever and it’s just as scary.”- Jason Robards
“When a man says what he thinks and does as he likes, he’s called a man of action. When a woman says what she thinks and does what she likes, she’s called a bitch.”- Bette Davis
“Simultaneously a frantic, high-tech juggernaut and a timeless Asian dream, Bangkok straddles like not other metropolis the boundary between acrid and sweet, soft and hard, sacred and profane. It’s a silk buzzsaw, a lacquered jack-hammer, a steel-belted seduction, a digital prayer. It’s numerous temples and shrines are obscured by clouds of mephitic exhaust, it’s countless vices and crimes by smiles of tender delight; and through it all, Bangkok manages to maintain the most graceful balance, a grace no less genuine for being well-rehearsed and no less pure for being supported by con men and whores.”
Tom Robbins, Villa Incognito
“You are utterly the stupidest, most self-centered, appallingest excuse for an anthropomorphic personification in this or any other plane!”
Death berates Dream, in SANDMAN #8: “The Sound of Her Wings”
Just great word usage.
From the Tick:
“Destroy the earth ? But that’s where I keep my stuff !”
From, I believe, Eric Hoffer’s, “The True Believer.”
“When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.”