Raiders of the Lost Ark revisionism

So I’m browsing at my local video store. I stumble upon a new VHS tape of Raiders of the Lost Ark–still no DVD, more’s the pity–and I find that the name has been changed.

The new official title is Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, with Indiana Jones large and the Raiders etc small, so as to match the logos of the other two IJ movies. I ask you, was this really necessary?

Well, maybe you could argue that now it will be stored alphabetically with the other two movies in video stores, instead of being over in the Rs. I dunno, still seems capricious.

But here’s the best part: a caption on the box conspicuously informs us that it is “chapter 24 in The Complete Adventures of Indiana Jones”.

. . . Temple of Doom is Chapter 23, . . . Last Crusade is Chapter 25, and presumably, chapters 1-22 are the individual episodes of The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones.

I call shenanigans. Cheeseball shenanigans.

SO?

Did you rent it?

Did they change anything else? Like Indiana Jones carrying a walkie-talkie instead of a pistol? (wonder how he’d use that in the fight against the big guy with the sword)

The DVDs are coming, check The Digital Bits for info.

As for the whole “chapter” thing, it was my understanding that this had been around for a while, since Spielberg and Lucas were recreating a Saturday matinee serial-type movie with the Indiana Jones movies.

Nah, I’ll hold out for the DVD. I just thought the new title and extra baggage itself was egregious.

I did hear a vague rumor that the scene with the big guy and the sword might be altered somehow, but I rather doubt it.

Please help me doubt it.

They better not mess with that scene! That was one of the greatest bits in the movie!

Of course, we are talking about a Lucas project.

Now the swordsman will draw his gun first…

And miss.

They’l change it so Harrison Ford doesn’t shoot first.

There’s precedent.

Ha! I got off the first post!
Wait a minute…
That means now I’m Greedo.
Damn.

Here’s hoping that Speilberg’s last words are similar to Orson Welles, “Please don’t let George Lucas rub his crayons over my beautiful movie.”

I could have sworn that in the Holy Grail movie (Last Crusade) there was a bit where the knight says something about why he can’t leave (aside from gaurding the grail): that he’d age a year in a day for each day he does not drink from the cup (i.e., you have to keep drinking out of the grail from that fountain to stay immortal). In fact, something like this must be so, or else Indy and his father would be immortal!

But whenever they play the movie on Tv, I see no hint of the line. Revisionism, or poor memory?

The problem is, Spielberg already released that ****ed up version of ET just recently where all the guns were changed to walkie talkies.

Lucas doesn’t need to lift a finger.

Poor memory, I think. I don’t recognise this at all. However, the knight says words to the effect of “The Grail can never pass beyond the great seal. That is the boundary, and the price of immortality”, implying that one sip from the Grail is not enough, and that you do need regular doses.

Also, the knight has aged. Quite a lot. Apparently the Grail just slows aging, it doesn’t stop it.

BTW speaking of Last Crusade, am I the only person who finds it a better film than Raiders of the Lost Ark? I thought it a lot more amusing and the chemistry between Ford and Connery was great.

Keep in mind, though, that Spielberg insisted that the original version of ET also be available. Unlike Lucas, he let people choose which version they wanted.

The main problem I have here is that Raiders of the Lost Ark is, far and away, the best movie of the three. The other two can stay on VHS forever, for all I care, Raiders is all that’s important. So its title should be different and bigger and more special.

Last Crusade was always my favorite of the three, as well.

I always liked Temple of Doom best with Raiders just a bit behind and Crusade while still great far behind the two first ones.

I just saw Radiers last Saturday on NBC. (I don’t get out much with two kids) They still had Indy shoot the big guy with the sword. That was on network TV, so I doubt they would change it.

They also had the cute little monkey doing the “hail Hitler” hand signal. If anything, that was one aspect I expected them to change. Can’t have a cute furry animal pledging alegiance to Hitler and all that, ya know.

As far as I understand it, if you drink from the Grail, you gain immortality * as long as you do not cross the seal*. In other words, you live forever in the damn cave! What a rip-off! It was able to save Professor Jones, but neither are immortal because they crossed the seal. Thats the way I understand it, at least.

By the way, “Indiana Jones: The Pinball Adventure” is one of the best games around. Awsome multi-ball play.


Fagjunk Theology: Not just for sodomite propagandists anymore.

Last Crusade

Was it just me? I thought they were going to have Henery Jones Sr. stay and become the new keeper of the Grail. The knight thought that Indy had come to relieve him and looked mighty dissapointed that he had to stay and clean up after these guys.

C’mon its the perfect subtext… Only a monkey would follow the Nazi Party. Also notice the fact the two Nazis returned the salute without thought and only after do they become embarrased that they just returned the salute to a monkey. Shows their mindless following of a madman… Quite clever really.