Penny: Holy crap on a cracker
Sheldon: [gasps] I possess the DNA of Leonard Nimoy?!
Penny: Well… [looks toward Leonard then back to Sheldon] yeah, I guess. But look, he signed it!
Sheldon: [visibly shaking] Do you realize what this means?!?! All I need is a healthy ovum and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy!!
Penny: Okay, all I’m giving you is the napkin, Sheldon.
Oh, man, Scooter sucks. He’s like the Aquaman of the Muppet Babies.
Amy is right. I do want to fling my poop at her.
Man, that show has a lot of reruns.
I love him, but if he’s broken, let’s not get a new one.
Barry: We’we aww pathetic and cweepy and can’t get giwws. That’s why we fight wobots. If you’we not thewe, you’ww be exposed to widicule.
Raj: I’m curious, what part of America is that accent from?
You do understand that it will distract you from obsessing over the rich variety of sweet loving that your ex-boyfriend is currently receiving from the fiery jewel of Mumbai.
Is having a real life girlfriend that want’s to have sex with you,
getting in the way of your board games?
Amy: Well, Howard and Bernadette had their baby.
Sheldons Mom: Oh that’s wonderful. Now have they decided to raise it Jewish or regular.
Penny: Oh, Leonard. If we moved in together, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of you.
Leonard: Really?
Penny: And you thought my acting classes were a waste of money.
Penny : You better snatch up bernadettemaryannrostenkowskiwolowitz.com before someone else beats you to it.
Bernadette: Oh, Howard’s already taken care of that.
You know, both selective mutism and an inability to separate from one’s mother can stem from a pathological fear of women. It might explain why the two of you have created an ersatz homosexual marriage to satisfy your need for intimacy.
Lol! That episode is on tonight in my area.
Now if you live east of me and it already did air in your neck of the woods and that’s why you quoted it then just ignore me.
That is my spot. In an ever-changing world it is a simple point of consistency. If my life were expressed as a function in a four-dimensional Cartesian coordinate system, that spot, at the moment I first sat on it, would be [0,0,0,0].
If you’re short of cash, there’s always a couple of fifties in Green Lantern’s ass.
Howard: [about Summer Glau] I have eleven hours with her in a confined space. Unless she’s willing to jump off a moving train and tuck and roll down the side of a hill, she will eventually succumb to the acquired taste that is Howard Wolowitz.
Leonard: [short pause] My money’s on tuck and roll.
I keep telling you if I wasn’t an Astrophysicist, I’d be a party planner!
Sheldon: You hear about this on TV, but you never think it will happen to you.
Leonard: So they steamed your dumplings. Get over it!
Sheldon: Excuse me Officer Hernandez? Any leads on a person who stole my belongings?
Officer Hernandez: Not yet.
Sheldon: Perhaps I can help. Sherlock Holmes always says, “When you eliminate the impossible whatever remains however improbable must be the truth.” Now, now, have you tried doing that?
Officer Hernandez: Nope.
Sheldon: Well, maybe you should. There’s lots of books called Sherlock Holmes and there’s no books called Officer Hernandez.