Sorry Special, did I also mention that I love to do yardwork? I’ll mow your lawn for a six pack ok? 
“It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.”
Okay, I’ll play.
I can listen to Gilbert and Sullivan for hours.
I can sing every song of “South Pacific” and “Oklahoma.” (to mixed reviews from the family).
I once did a stand up routine on amateur night in a bar. I won. The prize was a boom box. My son took it away from me.
I went to Vegas with a couple of pals last fall. They took all our money.
I can fix just about anything, but I don’t want to.
Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue.
Hmmm…
An awful lot of us seem to be good at rubbing other people…
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I can drive a forklift.
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I’m male, but have cleaned bathrooms.
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I’m adept at catching insects in my bare hands.
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Dojo. Casino. It’s all in the mind.
3 1/2. I also hand type each sig.
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I do most housework while talking on the phone.
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I have a huge vocabulary of words that I mispronounce because I’ve only read them and never have heard them spoken out loud. I made up my own way to pronounce them when I was six and have never changed it.
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I can bake a mean loaf of bread without a recipe, but I usually take out a cookbook and leave it open on the counter just in case I need to look something up.
I love to read
Love to cook and create in the kitchen
I can read for hours on end when I’m totally engrossed in a book
I cry watching movies sometimes… big alligator tears
I learned recently that checking your transmission fluid is a good thing.
I kiss you back Wally
We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another
oh, democritus, i’d even share plants! i have a very nice liriope you’ld just love. & wonderful strawberries. & then i got that chrysanthemum up to 6’ & flowering.
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I have a chipped front tooth from a very involved “interaction” from several years ago
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I prefer Coke to Pepsi
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I’m actually quite shy in real life until i get to know poeple
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I cannot eat the same food two nights in a row.
If you feel that you must suffer, then plan your suffering carefully–as you choose your dreams, as you conceive your ancestors.
-I have approximately 960 cd’s in my music collection.
-I often know what is right and what is wrong, but I invariably choose the wrong path.
-I am thinking of asking my GF to marry me.
-I love croutons in my minestrone soup! 
The most rewarding part was when I got my money!
-Dr. Nick Riviera
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I’d like to call myself a writer, but. . .
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I’m so much of a perfectionist it’s a struggle to get anything done.
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I have too much free time between classes in my college schedule and I’m bored stiff.
– Sylence
I don’t have an evil side. Just a really, really apathetic one.
I’ve been trying to write a cookbook, but am having some trouble. Can people-who-only-wannabee writers get writer’s block?
My son has called me at least 20 times today.
I have a horrible stomach ache.
“If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”
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I am a chronic procrastinator. My finest moment was the time at college when I did a 25-page annotated history paper beginning with initially cracking the books at 4 p.m. the day before, taking a break for my bowling league, writing all night, typing all morning and finishing it 10 minutes before class started. (I got an A, too!) I now work out of my home with no boss looking over my shoulder and totally judged by my final product alone, a perfect scenario for my procrastination.
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I used to be the lead singer in one of the top rock and roll bar bands in my part of the state of Michigan, and you would ** never ** know it to see me now. Now I look like a Little League coach.
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My job involves having to look people up in the phone book frequently, and I have this terrible mental affliction where, if I see an unusual name, I instantly come up with scenarios for who they should marry to have a goofy hyphenated name. (Example Mary Bilida-Kidd)
Today I stumbled across the name John Flattery, and I thought about the tour guide business he once ran that failed when word got around that Flattery will get you nowhere.
Please be kind. It’s a disease.
“In much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.” - Ecclesiastes 1:18
::swoon:: Will you marry me, or at least be my personal houseboy?
Shadowfox
“We are what we pretend to be.”
- Kurt Vonnegut
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  I’m a writer, blah blah blah…
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  I’m a closet Twin Peaks fan.
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  I have a lifetime bowling average of 100, from my one attempt at bowling.
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  My girlfriend just woke up crying…she had a dream where she was in Heaven, and I’d sent her a letter telling her that I missed her…
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  I have TWO cats–and I freakin’ HATE cats!
-David
- I can ride a horse, sail a boat, and snowboard, but I can’t rollerblade.
- I have tried bungee-jumping, sky-diving, and scuba diving, but I’ve never tried rock-climbing. (and have no desire to)
- I’ve read all of Shakespeare’s plays except Pericles, Timon of Athens, and The Two Noble Kinsmen.
- I speak English, Pig Latin, and Drunken Gibberish, but I don’t speak Finnish.
- I’ve had a cop steal from me, a doctor make me sick, and a landscaper ruin my yard.
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I memorized the capitals of every state in the US in fourth grade.
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I played trombone in my high school band.
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My SO and I collect linen post cards, circa 1930-1950s.
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I’m not a big fan of cats, both the musical and the animal.
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I’m ready for baseball season to start.
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Right now, I’m listening to Patty Loveless’ Only What I Feel cd and surfing the internet while I should be working.
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I’ve postponed joining Mensa until they come up with a cool T-shirt.
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I think I learned way too much in the military about shooting and blowing things up.
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I take all the cheese-flavored Milk Bones out of my dog’s snack box because they make good beer chasers.
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For some reason, going way back, I still hate circus clowns.
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My wife still hasn’t found out that I mended one of her Beanie Babies with fishing line after I accidentally let the dog play with it.
“…send lawyers, guns, and money…”
Warren Zevon-
I learned to whistle by sucking air in rather than blowing out. For years, that was the only way I could do it.
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I had several editorials published in my college newspaper about 4 years ago. I became a minor celebrity, and women I didn’t know called me to tell me they liked my articles. I was even recognized and fawned over by a pack of ballerinas (I went backstage after the performance to get a friend).
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I’ve never been drunk. Don’t plan to, either. That’s not to say I don’t drink occasionally, but I just can’t imagine drinking that much.
1 : I used to be one of those annoying little kids who passed out Jack Chick tracts at school.
2 : I once went to Oklahoma Baptist University in preparation for entering the ministry.
3 : Schindler’s List is the only movie that ever made me cry.
4 : “Dreaming from the Labyrinth” by Tish Hinojosa has got to be the most beautiful album ever recorded.
5 : I kiss me!
Saint Eutychus H.M.S.H.
“Vanity of vanities” says the preacher, “all is vanity and a chasing after the wind …”
Disney Shorts
The Eutychus Papers
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I am something of a geography whiz, and can name the capitals of all fifty states and the Canadian provinces, all the nations of the world*, and selected other political divisions. I knew the capitals of all the Soviet republics years before they were independent. I also can identify just about any flag you show me**.
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I used to be a very good keyboard player, until I started college and moved into the dorms. I was too self-conscious to play in front of my roommate, and now I’m so out of practice that my fingers get tangled if I try to play something more complex than “Old MacDonald Had a Farm”.
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I am extremely non-talkative in real life, and I communicate with gestures if I can get away with it. Some people who have known me for a long time swear I’m mute.
*Except South Pacific island nations. I always get them mixed up.
**Except for most state flags. So goddamned many of them look alike.
An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille.