“Somewhere, there is a VolksWagen with missing seatcovers.”
From My Name Is Earl.
Joy to Earl: “I’m the queen bee. You’re just a worker. You gotta feed me do me and die.”
“What shall we hang? The holly? Or each other?” --Henry II
I’ve got a Monkey on my foot!
“Puny god.”
Brought the house down where I was, for sure.
“Squirrel!”
-Up
What’s really scary is that I remember getting 12 cassettes for only a penny.
Bringing Up Baby:
Mrs. Random: But why are you wearing these clothes?
David Huxley: Because I just went gay all of a sudden!
Classic !
Black Adder 2-Is that a canoe in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me ?
Simpsons helicopter pilot flying to
Nothing could possiblie go wrong…er, Possibly go wrong. That was the first thing to ever go wrong.
Lrrr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8: Mmm, this jerked chicken is good. I think I’ll have Fry’s lower horn jerked.
Bender, off camera: It’s used to it. Woowooo!
Ghostbusters
Egon: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by DICKLESS here.
Peck: They caused an explosion.
Mayor: Is this true?
Venkman: Yes, it’s true…This man has no dick.
Peck lunges swinging, gets dragged off
Venkman: Well, that’s what I heard!
Vincent: Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face.
Jules: Why the fuck did you do that!
Vincent: Well, I didn’t mean to do it, it was an accident!
Jules: Oh man, I’ve seen some crazy ass shit in my time but this…
Vincent: Chill out, man. I told you it was an accident. You probably…you went over a bump or something.
Jules: Hey, the car didn’t hit no motherfucking bump.
Vincent: Hey, look man, I didn’t…I didn’t mean to shoot the son of a bitch. The gun went off. I don’t know why.
Jules: Well look at this fucking mess, man. We’re on a city street in broad daylight here!
Vincent: I don’t believe it.
Jules: Well believe it now, motherfucker! We gotta get this car off the road! You know cops tend to notice shit like you’re driving a car drenched in fucking blood.
Vincent: Just take it to a friendly place, that’s all.
Jules: This in the Valley, Vincent. Marsellus ain’t got no friendly places in the Valley.
Vincent: Well Jules this ain’t my fucking town, man!
Jules: Shit!
Jesse Pinkman: You got something for me?
Skinny Pete: Yeah, I found ‘em.
Jesse Pinkman: Is this a five or an S?
Skinny Pete: Five, yo. No wait… S. No, no… yeah, five.
Jesse Pinkman: Yeah? Jesus, how the hell do you spell “street” wrong? S-T-R-E-A-T?
Skinny Pete: Hey, man, I’m slingin’ mad volume and fat stackin’ benjis, you know what I’m sayin’? I can’t be all about, like, spelling and shit.
Jesse Pinkman: Okay. So they got names?
Skinny Pete: Hers is like, I dunno, she’s just this woman is all. Him, they call Spooge.
Jesse Pinkman: Spooge? Not Mad Dog? Not Diesel? So lemme get this straight, you got jacked by a man named Spooge?
Character: “Why should we do what you say?”
Dragon: “Because I am the dragon and you…are not the dragon. Any questions?”
From Blackadder Goes Forth
Blackadder: ‘The British front is travelling slower than an athsmatic ant with some heavy shopping.’
And, Clanger, also from Dad’s Army:
‘They don’t like it up’ em, you know!’
Actually quite poignant as Huxley was played by Cary Grant. I often wonder what he must have felt saying that on camera.
Steve Martin as Freddy Benson, playing Ruprecht the monkey Boy:
“This is the happiest day of my life! I think my testicles are dropping!”
“It was a bloodless coup! They were all smothered with pillows.” - Simpsons
“I will not grovel.”
“Ah, hell. I haven’t had a good grovel in weeks!” - Nine Princes in Amber
From MASH
Hawkeye: “An edible complex is when a guy likes his mom’s cooking better than eating out.”
“He’s taking the knife out of the cheese! You think he wants some cheese?”
“A real woman could stop you from drinking.”
“She’d have to be a real big woman.”
“Where’s the rest of this moose?”
“I’m going to take a bath.”
“I’ll alert the media.”
All from “Arthur”. A true classic.
Tasmanian Devil: “Whyfor you bury me in the cold, cold ground?”
The Lion in Winter:
Geoffrey: “I know. He knows I know. You know he knows I know. I know you know he knows I know. We’re a knowledgeable family.”
John: “I could be on fire, and no one would piss on me.”
Richard: “Let’s strike a flint and find out.”
A League of Their Own:
“Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!”
Black Adder:
“Jane Pentalygen? Jane “bury me in a Y shaped coffin” Pentalygen?”