Real headlines related to trump and his enablers that sound like made-up 'The Onion'-style joke headlines

That was the one I was taught in the navy but it seemed kind of forced. I like CM’s better and it retains Violet’s name.

And the missing indigo was because when Newton looked at the spectrum he insisted there had to be seven colors since seven is a sacred number (seven classical planets, seven holes in the human skull, holy trinity plus four elements). I don’t see it either.

trump in a recent CNBC interview:

These people do it naturally. Naturally. I said, ‘What happens’ — to a farmer the other day — ‘What happens if they get a bad back?’ He said, ‘They don’t get a bad back, sir, because if they get a bad back, they die.’ I said, ‘That’s interesting.’ … In many ways, they’re very, very special people.

I’m sure the “farmer” he “talked to” was a big strong guy with tears in his eyes.

“They don’t get a bad back because if they get a bad back they die”?

Sweet Jesus…

That wasn’t trump saying / thinking that, he was just repeating the words of the farmer who called him ‘sir’, who clearly is a real farmer he actually talked to, and not a totally made-up fictional scenario trump created in order to promote his own batshit genetics theories! I’m shocked, shocked, that you would even imply trump himself thought that.

How could Trump have even spoken with a farmer? Does he even speak Spanish?

You’ve forgotten about the South African “refugees” he granted asylum to. Now those famers, I believe he spoke to.

Big difference between a farmer and a farmworker.

I can’t even picture the Orange Peril anywhere that has dirt coarser than what he would encounter in a sand trap. Not that he’s ever hit a ball into a sand trap in his life.

Farmer John Barron.

As Trump Broadens Crackdown, Focus Expands to Legal Immigrants and Tourists

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/21/us/politics/trump-immigration-visa-crackdown.html

What? Do they just take them out back and shoot them like a lame horse?

Don’t give them any ideas.

Why do you think they hired Kristi Noem? Her empathy and razor wit?

OK, as soon as I saw this headline I thought “this one’s got to go into the headlines thread”.

Full headline:

Former Superman actor Dean Cain reveals he’s becoming an Ice agent to support Trump’s mass deportation agenda

“Truth, justice and the American way” my azz…

“Guys! I’m one of you! Take the handcuffs off! I’m not even Hispanic you assholes, I’m.a quarter Japanese!”

“Oh, good to know, you’re on our list next”

What, no posthumous nom for Hulk Hogan?

I don’t know these peoples politics, but I hope they refuse.

I have the feeling that Stallone will be happy to accept.

Just a hunch.

Some of Cain’s parents were put in an internment camp during WW2. You’d think that would have taught him some history.