Redneck Haiku

Hon, I love yew, but
We cain’t do it standin’ up:
Too much like dancin’

I chew and I spit
In a meditative state
The spitoon goes “DING!”

Banjo haiku

da da dang dang dang
dang dang dang dang dang dang dang
dang dang dang ye-haar


well, at least one person wants to meet me…
http://fathom.org/polldata/pollcheck.adp?poll=dope-page5&question=62

Cheers!!

My wife decorates
Our home in “Country Cutesy.”
I vomit often.

Budweiser, of course,
Is Breakfast of Champions.
I do lunch with Jack.

Daughter: “Paw, kin I take the truck to town?”

Paw: “Shore thang, darlin’, but yew know whut yew gotta do first.”

Daughter: “Yes Paw…(getting on knees)…Eewwwww! Paw, it tastes
like shit!”

Paw: “Damn! I fergot…yore bruther already done took the truck!”