Nevada - We have Las Vegas
Maryland - Visit anywhere but Baltimore
North Carolina or North Dakota - We like being on top
West Virginia - We’re just east of Virginia
Delaware - Chickens and beaches
California On the Left Coast, yet Center of the whole freakin’ universe.
Kansas - The Methbasket State
Iowa - The road less traveled…
Missouri - Where the mild things are.
Texas - Til death do us part
Wisconsin - Behold, the power of cheese. Alternate: Shoring up the brandy market since 1848.
Colorado - I burning your beer.
Arkansas - Relatively speaking, it’s a nice place.
South Dakota - Four stoned guys and a Wall of Drugs.
Nevada - Brothels and Casinos. Hey, we’re in a desert, we gotta have some fun.
North Dakota - We’re windy 'cause Montana blows and Minnesota sucks.
South Dakota - Hey, we got Sturgis.
Tripler
Oh well.
Texas Forget the Alamo, we LOST!
Maryland If you can think of it, we’ll tax it
Connecticut - Adjacent to Greatness
Hawaii - the pizza state.
Washington - serial killer country.
Nevada - where sinning is legal.
Mexico - not a state but didn’t vote for Bush.
Illinois - Home of $9.95 drivers license
Wisconsin - Hold my beer and watch this
**Indiana - Cheap Booze, Cheap Gas, and Easy Women.
Maine** - If you can’t stand the wintahs, you don’t deserve the summahs.
Alaska - Home of the 4 pound mosquito
Vermont - Duude! Mountains!
Alabama - Y’alll ain’t from round here, is ya?
Michigan - we look like a mitten
Louisiana - boot shaped, which is good with all this mud
Oklahoma - not only a panhandle, but the rest of the pan
Alabama - the mirror image of Mississippi
Massachusettes - the state with a hook
Florida - just think how closer Miami will be to the Northeast if we get excited!
Not states but…
Saskatchewan - Confusing spellers since 1905
Ontario - We are proof high income doesn’t equal high intelligence
Quebec - We got you English right here!!!
British Columbia - Wher pot and snowbaording are synonymous
Alberta - Where the men are men and the cattle are nervous
Manitoba - Now with 25% less people
Newfoundland - Proudly being the butt of Canada’s jokes since 1949
Yukon Territory - Alaska’s poor cousin
Wisconsin - You’ll Smell The Cows
Minnesota - A Whole Lot of Dirt
Michigan: cars, bars and lotsa weirdos.
Michigan Trolls and Yoopers Abound! Hi Athena!
Michigan Welcome to Michigan, no go home. **
Will the last one leaving Michigan in Winter Please Turn Out The Lights?
Michigan Nothing to see here, please move along.
Nuts.
Welcome to Michigan. Now Go Home.
California-also known as North Mexico
Utah: We sell beer now – no, really!
U S Virgin Islands - If all hurricanes were named after men, they’d never bother the mainland again, what with all the virgins here and all… ya know?
Guam - you know you want to
Wake Island - Lots of goony birds and one freakin liquor store. At least we ain’t gettin’ bombed any more. Well, not with just one damn liquor store!
Texas…That is our motto!
“Welcome to Virginia! You’re late for court.”
“Utah - Our church can beat up your church!”
“New Mexico - That’s New, no, really, it’s NEW”
“Washington - The Evergreen State - always green because of the everpresent moss and mold from the rain!”
“Washington” - where we catch them eventually.