How do we know Jesus really was Jewish?
- He lived at home until he was 30
- He thought his mother was a virgin
- His mother thought he was God.
Christian Lightbulb Jokes!
How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb? One, since his/her hands are in the air anyway.
How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.
How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb? 10, as they need to hold a debate into whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb they may not go ahead and change it for fear of alienating those who use fluorescent tubes.
How many Anglo-Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They always use candles instead.
How many evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb? Evangelicals do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and hope the light bulb will decide to change itself.
How many Atheists does it take to change a light bulb? One. But they are still in darkness.
How many Brethren does it take to change a light bulb? Change???
How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb? 10, one to change it and 9 others to pray against the spirit of darkness.
How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb? One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your donation today.
How many campfire worship leaders does it take to change a light bulb? One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.
How many independent Baptist’s does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, anymore than that would be considered ecumenical.
How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb? One to actually change the bulb and 9 to say how much they like the old one.
What is this “light bulb” you speak of?
None, I’ll just sit here in the dark while you go out with your friends.
Oh… you said Amish. Never mind.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi go swimming in the river. When they return to the bank, their clothes are missing. The priest and the minister wrap their towels around their waists and start walking back to town. The rabbi wraps his towel around his head.
“Why are you doing that?” asks the priest.
“I don’t know how you run your congregations” replies the rabbi, “But mine, it’s my face they’ll recognize.”
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi meet every week in a local hotel for an ecumenical poker game. Their congregants get wind of it and are scandalized, so they deputize three of their members, who happen to be police officers, to try to scare them out of the habit.
The clergymen are midway through a hand of Hold-Em when there is a knock at the door. They sweep the cards and chips out of sight and answer the door. Office Ryan says “Father Murphy, there’s been a report you’ve been gambling in here. Is that true?”
“No, my son!”
“Reverend Anderson”, says Officer Jackson, “Have you been gambling in here?”
“I most certainly have not!”
Officer Cohen sighs and starts to leave the room. The other two cops hurry up to him and ask him why he isn’t asking the rabbi if he’s been gambling. Officer Cohen gives them a weary look and asks “With who?”
A well-respected orthodox rabbi wants to play a game of golf, but the only tee time he could get was on Shabbat. After thinking about it for a while, he says to himself, “no one who respects Shabbat will see me at the golf course anyway, so what does it matter if I bend the Shabbat rules just this once? I can get there, get 18 holes in, and get back with no one being the wiser.”
The rabbi shows up for his golf game and starts to play. Meanwhile, God, looking down from on high says to Moses, “I will have to punish this man for his desecration”. The rabbi continues to play, and miraculously gets six holes-in-one and finishes 18 under par.
Moses turns to God and says, “You just intervened to give him the best golf game of his entire life; How is that ‘punishment’?”
God says to Moses, “Who can he tell?”
Ooh, one I just remembered – religious and ethnic humor, rolled up in one! 
Ole is the Pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church and Pastor Sven is the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road.
One day they are seen pounding a sign into the ground, which said:
DA END ISS NEAR!
TURN YERSELF AROUNT NOW
BAFOR IT ISS TOO LATE!
As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells, “Leave people alone, you Skandihoovian religious nuts!”
From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. Shakin’ his head, Rev. Ole says “Dat’s da terd one dis mornin’.”
“Yaa,” Pastor Sven agrees, then asks, “Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust say, ‘Bridge Out?’”
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic agnostic with an insomniac Jehovah’s Witness?
Someone who knocks on your door at 3 AM and asks you if you think there’s a Dog.
Never mind - somebody beat me to it. (Didn’t realise there was another page to this…)