"Revenge of the Sith" is anti-sex and REALLY anti-gay

Cafe Society
41

Practically any name can be twisted to mean almost anything. We have only 26 letters, after all.

Go nuts with it:
Luke = Lick, a reference to oral sex… similarly, Chewie.
Leia = Lay-her.
Han Solo = hand solo, meaning masturbation.
R2D2 = RU12, a clear gay-identification question: all the gay robots respond, Siam (Yes, I am).
C3P0 = See thru pee, a fixation with drinking urine.
Lucas = Luke’s Ass, a clear reference to George L’s desire to screw Mark Hamill.
Star Wars is a quick anagram for Rats Wars, a clear anti-rodent (gays are rats) policy.
20th Century Fox = 20th Century Fucks, a clear reference to the homophobic era of the prior century. It’s not George Lucas who’s anti-gay, it’s the whole studio!
“United States” clearly refers to the state of union (and the ref to the wedding ceremony, “these two being united”) between male and female, which is a sly dig at prohibiting same-sex weddings. it’s not just the studo, it’s the country!

And so it goes.

I could do the same with almost any other issue. I could make the names in Star Wars all refer to a pro-Asian (and thus anti-white) stance.
Anakin = Anti-asian.
Palpatine = Philippine.
Luke = Laos.
Leia = lei, a Hawaiian reference (suggesting that Hawaii should secede from the US and join the Asian alliance.
Han Solo = Chinese (a clear reference, “han” is the Chinese word for Chinese.)

Note the name of the OP, “Aeschines” = Ass - Chinese, clearly an anti-Asian reference. In short, analysis of names to infer a hidden political agenda is a great game to play around several kegs of beer.

On Palpatine’s “gayness,” I note that Ian McDermid has said that he deliberately hissed, to give a snake-like feel to Palpatine. All is not gay that hisses, not all those who wander are lost.

And STAR WARS was clearly (and Lucas has said so) based on the old serials of his childhood… in which sex almost never played a role. Romantic attraction, yes, but not sex. The hero, at the end, usually kissed the girl goodbye and rode off into the sunset – that doesn’t imply he had sex with his horse. Sexless doesn’t mean anti-gay, in this case it means aiming for an audience of children (which the first movies certainly did.)

42

Heh. OP, I think I love you. I want to come home with you and discuss whether the Jedi’s big hoods are actually representations of clitorises and therefore non-phallic, non-gay sex. Man, you could really go a long way with this. Lets break out a few tinnies one day and really go mad.

Meantime, I find it extremely impolite for a load of you, gay or nongay, to somehow imply that the OP is homophobic or anyone else is relying on gay stereotypes to concoct this delicious theory. First of all, it’s just something he’s concocted as an academic exercise, and as he states himself, is by no means a criticism of either gayness or homophobia. He’s just pointing it out, okay?

Second of all, it’s just one theory. Anyone could look at the same theme and get something else from it. I’m sure the OP would be the first to point it out.

Personally I’m more of the general ‘anti-sex’ thing rather than specifically anti-homosexual. Lots of the homosexual stuff depends on Palpatine’s madly camp performance.

And I’m not sure about lightsabers=willies. The whole point of them, I think, is that they are spiritual, less earthy than your actual sword – and there’s no guts or nasty spillage when they’re used. Properly, they’re quite sexless, just like the jedis.

But anyway, great OP, soundly argued (got anything on Obi Wan Kenobi = knobbly knob?) and probably one that will become pretty much canon in years to come.

43

Don’t mean to be crude, but that “theory” is a load of shit.

44

I cannot recall the last time I saw a near universal WHOOSH.

Raises a toast to Aeschines! Well played!

45

Why not? They lasted 200 years, and rose from being a minor crusading order to one of the dominant economic and political forces in Europe, until, at the end, their rivals staged show trials and brought them down.

46

Heh; that’s understood. :wink:

47

I saw the movie as anti- trying to fuck with Yoda.

48

Aeschines,

Your interpretation of the text, if I may reference Case Sensitive’s analysis of Predator, clearly makes you the “big, swinging dick.” Well done, I say, well done!

49

The film has also been accused of being anti- George Bush/Iraq (I wonder who Dubya’s padawan is? Or whose he was?)

50

So the good Jedi who have almost no contact with women and always go arround as a Teacher and his Padwan (boy) are anti gay. They are as much anti gay as the Spartans. Whne one revels their inherrant hetrosexuality and marries he has to do it in secret for fear of being thrown out of the order. Come on Anakin is a closeted hetrosexual whos sexual prefference leads him ultimately to Evil and the Dark side. The Dark Side’s sexuality is heterosexual S&M Vader wearing his gimp suit and happily torturing Leia for information and jollies.

51

You lost me when you quoted Stephanie Zacharek of Salon. She’s one of the biggest hacks in film criticism today. The rest of your post went downhill from there.

52

I just got a kick out of this statement coming from Dr. Kenneth Noisewater.

53

. . . happily torturing his daughter, I might add.

54

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Sigmund Freud

55

It took me several posts to realize that this may not be a joke.

56

I’m going the recongratulate the OP for an near-universal whooshing sound and for a good intentional parody; alternately, if I’m totally mad, congratulations for the unintentional parody. I have read Thomas Laqueur. I’ve read Laura Mulvey. I have read Panofsky after he goes off the deep end. I’m in grad school. This amused me.

57

More like a necessity. Suffering sex leads you to. Normal are you if sex you do not have. Yucky are girls.

58

At first I thought it might be a parody, but then the OP posted a bunch after without giving up the joke, so who knows. We know there are folks who think this, and I guess it’s not that unreasonable to believe that they very well may be walking among us!!!

Anyway, on an assumption that the OP is not joking, I’d ask for an example of male relationships in flim that are not about homosexuality. When are good friends ever just good friends? When are teachers just teachers? No, I don’t think I can think of an example where gayness couldn’t be read into any male/male relationship. So, the OP has got to be a joke? Right?

59

:smiley: Ah yes, fink prude’s Anagram Theory of Equals.

  • Hip Ectoplasm, OK?
60

That’s fried punk to you, buddy. :stuck_out_tongue: