Well, assuming this really is just a joke …
See, George Lucas’s theory of sex is obviously just a mirror of the media’s view on drugs. Drugs are bad; sex is bad. Marijuana is a “only-a-little-bit-evil” drug that will lead you to the “harder stuff”; Hetero sex is the “only-a-little-bit-evil” sex that will lead you to the “harder stuff”.
You forgot Jabba the Butt.
That’s absolutely hilarious.
Well, Vader technically couldn’t use Force lighting, since it has to emenate from one’s hands, which he, of course, didn’t have.
Though why he can make a robotic fist and choke someone… gah, that’s just loopy.
Explain, please.
S&M means gay? Since when?
And Anakin and Obi-Wan had a pretty macho sort of guy-like friendship, it seemed to me.
Yet you can’t show us that it exists. Please, any real indiciation that Lucas, the man for whom the term “subtlety” may as well be in a foreign tongue, is anti-gay? I’ve met some pretty flaming Lucasfilm folks.
Tolkien certainly never intended to infuse his books with what would appear to 21st century eyes as gay subtext. Your position here seems to have a lot more to do with your inability to accept that not all loving male-male relationships are sexual or gay than it does with any intentional subtext in the works of Tolkien or Lucas.
Heck, there’s Jedi whose gay names don’t even need to be modified.
Kit Fisto, anyone?
Well, what can I say? Had I known that my post would offend so many, I hadn’t posted it in the first place. “On target, it was not,” perhaps Yoda would say. Only consider my intentions and you’ll not be offended, I think.
Show me yours, and I’ll show you mine. Have a nice day! 
Since you’ve specifically mentioned the Templars, it really should be mentioned that, in the earlier scripts, Lucas was very clear about who the Jedi order was based on. They were called Jedi-Templars.
Of course, the Templars were warrior ascetics, and they were accused as traitors and wiped out by their regent, Philip IV.
Now, what were the most sensational accusations made by Philip against the Templars? That their initiation ceremony required the dedicant to receive an Osculum Obscenum (more recently called a “salad-tossing”) as part of the ritual, and that ritualized sodomy was a common occurance.
In the prequels, there are references to gnosticism, closely associated with the Templars. The most obvious of these is probably the Outer Rim planet of Geonosis, which is exclusively associated with A) androgynous aliens, B) asexual reproduction, both with cloning technologies and droid manufacturing. The Gnostics taught that immortality was achievable only by reconciling the male and female aspects of the soul, which were seperated in the fall. “When you make male and female into a single one, so that the male will not be male nor the female be female, then you shall enter the kingdom.” This occult secret is how the Jedi learn to overcome death.
Parenthetically, there’s a certain amount of intertextuality intended in the naming of Geonosis. “Geonosis” is “Gnosis” + “eo”, and “Eo” refers to George Lucas’ short film “Captain Eo,” which has this exact same theme. The casting of the androgyne Michael Jackson is no accident, and the story is clearly about the reconciliation of the heterosexed aspects of consciousness (or the soul, if you prefer.) Captain Eo’s navigator is a two headed creature, and the two heads are called “Idy” and Ody." The first letters of their names, “I” and “O”, are obvious male and female symbols. The last two letters of their names signify that they are part of a dyad. “Eo” means “Primeval,” and signifies that the protagonist represents pre-fall consciousness. His entire mission is bringing the bisexual reintegration of consciousness to humanity. He brings gnosis to the Supreme Queen by singing a song that transforms her and her domain: “We’re on a mission in the everlasting light that shines – a revelation of the truth and chapters of our minds – We’re here to change the world – Can’t you see? You’re just another part of me.”
Captain Eo aside, if you make a precise analogy between the movies and the historical sources on they are based, it’s clear that they are intended to be a polemic against homophobia, and an assertion that divine androgyny is the true route to Enlightenment and immortality. Palpatine tried to wipe out the androgynous Jedi, who held the occult secret to immortality through bisexuality. This is argument is much easier to support, in spite of it being totally tongue-in-cheek.
It should be pointed out that the use of the terms “analogy” and “tongue-in-cheek” in the above paragraph are not veiled references to homosexual practices, or even heterosexual anal sex. Sheesh. Stop reading absurdities into things, people!
Since it’s a spoiler I’ll put it here, but
The fact that Palpatine is a shrivelled slim old dude who is able to kick the asses in face-to-face combat of the best trained fighters in the galaxy (all of whom are capable of magic and extra sentience, no less)actually speaks pretty well of old gay guys. When I’m an old English gay guy half so agile hope to be I do.
And you don’t even have to be gay to want to see Hayden Christensen go on his knees and call you “Master”. Somebody else pointed out the similarities twixt this and the “prove your loyalty” scene in Team America.
So he’s like a Quentin Crisp character in a battle of wits. Eenteresting…
Well, I just saw the movie today, and Obi-Wanna sure as hell said “I LOOOOVED you!” to Anakin/Vader when he was all barbecued and shit–and no longer attractive. “Loved.” Past tense.
Could it be any more obvious?
We won’t even get into the deleted characters:
-warp drive mechanic Muff Divva
-recreation droid KY-69
-Jedi flunkout Fudja Pakka
-really pissed off she-Jedi Burka Enstock
-the snail-like French accented alien Dank Smegma
-the 4-foot-tongued Death Star decorator Ayna Lingis
-the Younglings gym teacher Nambla T’rol
-Greedo’s effeminate cousin Speedo
-Jabba’s barge cruise director cyborg Fell- 8CO
-Queen Amidala’s predecessor, Queen Norman
Some evidence for folks looking for proof of Lucas’ anal fixation, from early drafts of the script:
Do you suppose that poor woman (or anyone on set, for that matter) could have kept a straight face through the scene if that line remained in the shooting script?
I don’t think so.
Aww, you punk out and disappear just because you can’t support your argument. 
Or the scene where Aunt Beru makes a giant batch of fudge for the Boonta festival and Luke & Uncle Owen stay up all night packing it.
