Ripped from the Monty Python sketch book

“And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast; upon the lambs, and the sloaths, and the orangutans, and the fruit bats, and the sardines, and the breakfast cereals…”

BURMA!

Why did you say Burma?

I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
No matter where they’ve been.

I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
But only when they’re green.

and so on…

I panicked.

Oh, a leg? You’re looking for a leg? Actually I think there is one in there… somewhere…

[hijack] yes [/hijack]

“You are all individuals!”

Where shall we fuck off to?

Wait for it!

Now today how to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana!

Anyone know Red_Dragon60 and I were in our schools Monty Python skits eh? We were TICKED off cause we couldnt do Nudge Nudge…go fig…

Sit on my face
and tell me that you love me

I would tax the nude in my bed. No, not tax…oh, what’s the word…WELCOME!

Splunge!

Why is it that nobody remembers the name of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle- dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz- ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer- spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein- nurnburger-bratwustle-gernspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfut- gumberaber-shonedanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?

No, no. This is a tobacconist’s. To-bac-con-ist’s…

Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis.

And it went wherever I did go.

Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, dum dum dum dum dum

What’s on the tele?
Looks like a penguin

There is an ending that sort of ties in the whole Michael Ellis thing…

**Announcer:**And now it’s time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode…

[sfx]KAAAAABOOOOOOOOM[/sfx]

**Mrs Niggerbaiter:**How did he know that was going to happen?

**Announcer:**It was an inspired guess!

He takes from the poor and gives to the rich
Stupid bitch

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!

I can’t say it - you’ll have to say it.