Romantic or Reflex? Help me interpret, please.

In My Humble Opinion
1

When it comes to romance, I seem to usually have 100% interpretation abilities regarding romantic signals.
100% for others, 80-90% when it comes to my own relationships. (I think!)

However, I’ve been making moves on a girl at work (47 years old, mol) and something happened yesterday which I need help interpreting.
I’m not so much seeking advice, since I already have my plans outlined, and I’m confident of my charm, and, whichever way it goes I’m cool (Whatever happens, my toes are still tappin!).

So: I’ve been doing the at-work-getting-to-know-you kind of thing with her. Nothing too personal, of course, and there are co-workers all around, usually. Within the last month, a married person asked her if she had a bf (allegedly disinterestedly) and she said, in front of me, that she was unconnected with anybody. That’s when I started my campaign.
I’m thinking that I may have let something ‘romantic’ slip into it last week-either by accident or in desperation- but, I can’t remember for sure. If so, I didn’t ask her out, or declare my undying love, etc…, but, I’m wanting to say that it made it obvious that I was interested, whatever it was. (I’m drawing a blank as to what it was!!! I only remember being embarrassed to see her the next time I went in. Nothing came up, tho.)

At any rate, this has been going on for about a month. We are at least better friends/friendlier work associates, etc…

So, yesterday: She was walking out with a group of the others, while I had to stay behind. I was sitting in my chair, and she was straggling. Not the obvious ‘I’m-waiting-to-talk-to-big-stud-hh-and-hoping-he-asks-me-out’ kind of straggle, but, just getting her stuff, since she was riding with one of the others. I was saying some mundane farewell, she likewise, and she walked in my/the doors direction. I pursed my lips because I was reflecting about what to say, or was doing the "do-do-DUH-duh-duh’ look. She saw this, and gave a pucker/kiss (kind of that "mm-WAH kiss-blowing thing), saw that that wasn’t what I had in mind, and, in a fraction of a second, changed it to some other face.

The pucker/kiss was unmistakable, so, don’t even bother taking that into consideration. I need to know: Was it reflexive, or responsive to a romantic interest?
As I said, she’s late 40s; she has a 2 or 3 year old granddaughter, and may be blowing kisses to her all of the time.

So, the foundation:

  1. Girl has no bf.
  2. I may have/probably made my interest known to her.
  3. She puckered up immediately after mine (before changing it).

If she was responsive to my monster charm, I want to make my moves next time I see her.
If it was a matronly reflex that manifested in response to some idiot puckering up, I can dial it back.

If I can’t find clear insights, I, of course, will stay on course.

Your thoughts?
Thanks,
hh

2

Or she’s just flirting with you with no intent. Happens. Some people find it fun to flirt and find the workplace a harmless place to do so because they think its “safe.”

On the other hand, if she looked like she was about to plant one on you right there and then, you might want to think twice about pursuing someone whose response wasn’t reflective - reflective is possibly the BEST response - workplace romances need to happen between two people with discretion. No one wants to work with two people who are always touching and calling each other pet names. More importantly, no one wants to work with two people who have broken up and can’t keep that drama out of the office.

3

Just ask her out for coffee or something. If she’s not interested, she’ll say no and you can move on.

4

Yes, this. Make a move, see what happens.

5

Cassanova, you missed your shot. She was expecting you to take her right there in the office. I doubt you’ll get another opportunity. She’s clearly not interested in a relationship, just sex.

6

:smack:
Thanks for your input, all.

7

Ask her out to coffee or a drink under the pretense of work gossip/getting to know each other and see if she’s giving signals…

8

That was a definite maybe, sounds like asking out for coffee or a simple date would not be too risky.

9

Don’t you think it would be better if you asked her father for permission to ask her out for a cup of coffee. With approved chaperones, of course.

10

I already did. Unfortunately, I told him that I was a stranger hiding in his country, but I **forgot **to tell him if he told anyone, his daughter would lose a father, rather than gain a husband.
I wonder if mothers can give permission…

BTW, I won’t see her till Sunday. I’ll give updates IF I’m successful. If you don’t hear from me in re this matter, we can assume that I slunk off into ignominy.

11

I think she digs you. There’s no way I’d make a kissy face for any reason if I weren’t interested in the guy. I don’t think it’s a coincidence she straggled.

12

Most excellent! Thank you, Spice Weasel!

13

Don’t date co-workers.

14

He’s not interested in dating…just hooking up.

15

Another vote for “ask her out for coffee (or whatever it is that the kids are doing these days)”. The ‘lingering’, and the fact that she made a response (whatever it might have been) to you, seems to indicate that she was paying particular attention to you. Unless you had a big piece of lettuce stuck in your teeth or something, I’d take that as a ‘positive sign’.
All the standard disclaimers about dating co-workers apply…

16

Did anyone else read that as straddled? :smiley:

17

For future reference, stop it with all the preamble, and refrain from having a strategic plan outlined. Just cut to the chase and ask her out.

18

I was doing one of my routine vanity searches, and I found this one.
I’m always down for a good laugh, even at my own expense. So

UPDATE: Well, way back then, I was totally hobbled by all of the dorks hanging around teh office, etc…(she has big ones), so, I never got to make my move. I moved on with other women, etc.
But, this week, I found out that for the last several years, the girl in the OP has been something of a crackhead. (Talk about not seeing my hand in front of my face!) Apparently, I was the only person in the downtown area who didn’t know this.

The word around the office is, I just found out, that she only goes out with guys who have been in prison. The cleaning crew in the building in which we work is one of those which contract with halfway houses and hires bums who straggle in off the street, for the evening. Well, that being said, apparently that is where her array of dates/hookups/bfs comes from. There is more scary about her, but, we can draw the curtain of charity over the rest.

So, I saved myself the grief/humiliation of being dissed in favor of a toothless meth addict. I consider this a WIN!

19

I love updates, so thank you for this.

20

I thought you were going to say you have a hot date for Valentine’s Day.