ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
“I hope you realize I do not give refunds”.
Pick up phone, press preprogramed number that calls you back. Pick up when it rings. Fake conversation: “Hi mom!.. No, nothing’s going on here. Did you want me to run you through that computer problem?”
“What was your name again”?
[QUOTE=Cervaise]
Loudly: “Three… two… one.”
Then bite their face.
[/QUOTE]
You win.
From one of my favorite standup routines…
“COMMENCING COUNTDOWN! FIVE! FOUR! THREE! OOOOPS!”
What always works for me is muttering “Is it in yet?”
[QUOTE=pinkfreud]
What always works for me is muttering “Is it in yet?”
[/QUOTE]
Or, “It’s OK - you can put the whole thing in.”
That’ll do, pig.
There are some women who come silently. I dated one of those, and she grabbed my hair to tell me that she had already come three times. I said, “If I’d known you were coming, I’d have baked a cake!”
Pound your chest and yell, “BOOYA!”.
Damn, I forgot if I set the video for Battlestar Galactica. Don’t move while I check the VCR is set up correctly.
Man! I haven’t been fucked like that since the 2nd grade!
[QUOTE=Ensign Edison]
That’ll do, pig.
[/QUOTE]
“Is that it??”
get Off Me !!!
Say admiringly, “Wow you were great.”
Whatever the response snap, “I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to my penis.”
“Are you SURE I don’t know you?”
“Now, sign this consent form…”
Make a slash on a whiteboard. “I have to break the record! You’re only my fourth tonight!”"
“OK thanks, get off me now”.
“Oh. How long have you been here?”