“I’m surprised no one has posted a YouTube video with Liberty Mutual commercials played in an endless loop for ten hours. Those are just the greatest ads, and you never really get sick of them.”
“Being from the UK, I was unfamiliar with the genre, but having looked on Youtube,
I have to agree with you.”
Even “enhanced interrogation techniques” have certain decent limits.
“In order to adequately convey all the subtle nuances of that policy to the entire country, we’re going to need a speaker of the very highest quality; one who belongs to the same vaunted oratory pantheon as Donald Trump.”
Any automobile magazine review: “This vehicle would be perfect if it had a little less horsepower and a smaller interior.”
Anything at all to do with fashion: “There’s really nothing new this year, just minor changes on last year’s offerings and the usual crop of ridiculous things designed for failing celebrities who are seeking to stay in the spotlight. You’d be better off just wearing what’s already in your closet.”
Inside Disney offices: “Does anybody have an original idea?”
“Dwarf-tossing should be in the Olympic games. We could have national televised contests!”
“I think I’m going to stub my toe.”
“I love it when a TV network shows the same three ads during every single commercial break. It really helps me remember the messages of those ads!”
EDIT: Half-formed thought. Ignore.
Forget the entire commercials, if you really want to make waterboarding seem like a walk in the park, put just the jingle on an endless loop. Whenever I hear that godawful “liberty liberty liberty…liberty” I wonder if it was placeholder content that nobody was bright enough to think of anything better to replace it with.
“Don’t use the Force, Luke. Don’t do it.”
“Please pass me that piano.” - courtesy of George Carlin
“The try to put too darned many snacks in those bags of Combos. Why can’t they provide more air space in the bag?”
“I’m so happy you didn’t pick up the Legos!”
Liberty biberty. Over and over.
“Fluffy, if you need to barf up a hairball in the house, please do it on the rug, rather than on the hardwood floors. And, ideally, do it at 3 a.m., and right where I’m going to be walking when I leap out of bed to clean it up.”
“If you’re going to hit me, please do it right in the goodies where it’s sure to hurt. Or in the eye. Kthanxbye!”
“I don’t wanna date just any guy. No, he’s gotta have a great combover to even be considered for the first cut.”
“You know what would make an awesome dance remix? The Kars-4-Kids jingle.”