So far I’ve kept ALL my New Year’s resolutions.
Why the hell doesn’t Pauly Shore make any more of those delightful comedies he did in the 90’s like Bio-Dome? Those were QUALITY entertainment.
Boy, I sure wish I had some more of that delicious chewy bubblegum that Topps sells. You know, the bubblegum they sell that has, I think, baseball cards stuck in the package too? Not sure what that’s all about, but gimme more of dat GUM!
Wow! Pollen season! Look at all that cool powder! Amazing, my black car looks like it’s turned green!
Mmm! I do so love the rough itchy deep down feel of pollen-induced coughs!
And look at all those dandelions in my lawn. I think I’ll learn to make wine with them!
Well, I’m so glad it’s raining just after I mowed my yard. This time of year, that means I’ll get to mow tomorrow!
It’s very enjoyable when our neighbor decides to drive his motorcycle to work. It helps get me up before the alarm that’s set for 5:30 that’s for sure.
Oh look: they’re serving sink-trap soup with dinner! My favorite!
It’s even more fun when I have not 1 but two ricer neighbors with super-loud aftermarket exhausts which invariably bring forth the indescribable music of my own car’s alarm in the wee hours of the morning.
Boy, I sure we hope we encounter some unemployed gentlemen with squeegees at the next highway off ramp. Not only does my windshield need a good cleaning but I’d feel so good about giving them the money they need to buy booze.
Hey, doc - can you give me anything to help increase the amount of earwax production?
I think sitting in hour long meetings that get nothing accomplished are an excellent way to start the week.
No only do we need more meetings but I think those meetings need to be much longer.
Thank god DOGE has started looking for ways to make my department more efficient!
Ah, how lovely these smoky skies are, right when the temps open up oh so many outdoor possibilities!
I hate having to wait until July for the Dollar stores to get their Halloween stuff in.
While I’m glad that many radio stations transition to a Christmas format, It annoys the heck out of me how I have to wait until nearly Halloween for that to happen. Why can’t we make Labor Day the official transition date? And what’s the deal with stopping it cold turkey right after Christmas. Talk about harshing one’s buzz! Why not gradually ease us out of Christmas mode, say in mid-late January?
I gotta agree with that one …
after all, it’s the Twelve Days of Christmas, not the Twelve Weeks BEFORE Christmas!
-“BB”-
It’s ok, come in - the door’s unlocked. I’m just wanking into a sock.