Some have already been mentioned but these I hear on occasion: Slicker’n Owl Shit
Dumber’n a bag o’hammers
… a box of rocks
Stinking like a bucket of assholes
…was on him like ugly on an ape
… like white on rice
callin’ Ralph [puking]
It was like kneeing a gorilla in a phonebooth
Referring to any big ole boy: He’s big enough to eat grass.
Someone who’s flustered: He didn’t know whether to shit or go blind.
Someone who is tense: You couldn’t pull a needle out of his ass with a tractor.
Oh yeah: Had a face like the back of a bus
[Morning mouth taste] like licking the floor of a taxi cab
She was like ten miles of bad road
Slapped him so hard his whole family fell down
If I want your opinion I’ll beat it outta ya
Whenever my grandma would start back-seat-driving, my grandpa would bellow, “Who’s bucking this fuzzard?” which would always send me off into a torrent of giggles. (I assume he switched the first letters to avoid my grandma reproving him for cursing.)
Not PC, but a friend of mine liked to use that line from *Blazing Saddles: * “Dancing around like a Kansas City faggot.”
To this day I’ve still never, not once heard that phrase used in the derogatory manner I’ve heard about here.
Not ever. My mom has said it for years as a term of sympathy. Although my fiance’ has some family steeped in southern culture (rednecks). I’m sure I’ll hear it some time.
Uglier than homemade soap.
Dumb as an ox and twice as ugly.
Dumb as a doorknob (or, it’s like talking to a wall).
I’ve driven through Hell and half of Georgia to get here.
He/She thinks their shit don’t stink.
…couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn.
You look like Death on a cracker/eatin’ a cracker, or Death warmed over.
Well, take the ribbon from my hair. (An utterance of mild surprise)
