Sarcastic Answer Theatre III : The Revenge

** The WASP Test ** - Step One : Cram fist into hive. Step Two : Grope around for Honey. If Honey is found, WASP test is negative.

**Recommend a tattoo artist in Atlanta area for reconstruction ** - Jim Jack’s “Shoulder Scrawlins Shop” was popular from 1866-1870 or so.

**I just saw Duran Duran! ** - Great, I’ll call Barbarella.

**What do you think of the Volkswagen Golf? ** - It’s a little below par.

**How to outsmart the fountain drink machine… ** - Don’t let it sell you that bridge in Brooklyn.

**Final Statement of The Holy Father ** - “Either this hat goes, or I do.”

**Road Hypnosis…dangerous? ** - Well, I still cluck like a chicken if I see a Detour, so you be the judge.

Pictures of my Kids (Only, no Pictures)- And, quite possibly, no kids.

I am in danger of breaking my arm- Should have paid off the loan sharks.

Found! The World’s Ugliest Car!- Parked across the street from me, no doubt.

Pillow Talk In The Twilight Zone- Rod Serling engaged in pillow talk? What fun!

Spiders and Baths - a guide to quaint English pubs

Recommend reading on ancient houses - Not unless you test the roof first

Funding of the Swiss Guard - they used to be mostly Catholic, until the evangelicals came in

Burning question about. . .Pinking shears - Consult a doctor, who will probably prescribe a round of antibiotics

Why Do Asian People’s Eyes Look That Way? - To see what’s over there. If they wanted to see what’s over here, they would look this way

**Problem with AIM

Okay, just fill in your own comment

MPSIMS…
Woof. Woof.
Ex-girlfriend, is that you?

**Cell Phone vs Toilet…Cell Phone Wins! **
Now to make a call on my toilet…

**Establishing a criteria for determining when one has ‘‘arrived’’ **
Look down. If you see your feet, or any other anatomical parts belonging to yourself, you’re here.

**It’s extraordinarly windy **
Y o u d . o . . n . . ’ . . . t . . . . . s . . . . . . . a . . . . . . . . . . y . . .
From the Pit:
**What’s a Little Nuclear Waste Among Friends? **
So don’t go into the bathroom so soon after I come out of there, next time…

How long does it take for food to pass through my body? It depends on the mass of the food and the velocity upon impact.

Cell Phone vs Toilet…Cell Phone Wins! How come I can flush a cell phone down a toilet, but I can’t flush a toilet down a cell phone?