I agree on both. And I’ll add this:
Most likely to lick people while in chat: Tiggeril.
OpalCat and Zebra for Dopers with most interestingly named pets.
Mr. Tornado Sweaty Guy and Princess Penelope Prissy Pants, respectively.
Best virtual lesbian mother- Anthracite
licks punha 
And I’ll add: Best Virtual Mother ever in the history of the world: Scotticher
Most Recent Poster to Hit 1000…
ME!!!
Most likely to post 35 times in one day, then average ten posts a day for the next week.
Congrats, Sue. 
Arden_Ranger for Poster Most Likely To Start A Mostly-Nude Jello Wrestling Contest
I’ve got to put myself up for one:
Doper Who Thinks Big, Acts Little: TOTORO (for the failed Calvinball attempt… never act big as a newb! Dammit!)
But, for others:
Eve gets my vote for Most Consistantly Making Me Smile.
DPR gets Most Interesting Doper I Will Never Ever Meet.
ElusiveMiser gets Only Doper I Know Personally.
Orion007 gets Only Person That Knows I Exist On The Board.
what about best homepage? I don’t click on em enough, so I can’t tell. Anybody out there who’s looked at enough to discern okayness from greatness?
Well, as long as we can nominate ourselves, I hereby nominate myself for Poster Most Likely To.
I’m nominating tatertot for the Best Evil Schemer award!
I win.
stoid
I nominate Tatertot a co winner of the Evil Scheming award, along with Evilbeth, after all each schemer needs someone who appreciates their work.
Original posted by Byzantine:
See what I mean?
I also nominate tatertot for best Use of Salami!
Hmm…what about me?
Aww…shucks Mauv, thanks… I couldn’t have done it without you. 
I want to nominate Anthracite for Supplying The Coolest Sig Line to an Adopted Newbie (see below)
and Dire Wolf for **Best Official Pit Plaything **