You may camp out in the yard, but I ain’t gonna let you in the door.
:erects a “Keep off the satellite countries” sign:
Oooh! This implies decapitation! Skull inside and body thrown casually out back. Or maybe crucified on the sign.
So, I’m reading through this thread hoping to get up to speed on what I’ve missed the first few years. Just a few questions:
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Is this the correct thread?
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How many lawyers are in this game, anyway? Not that lawyers are patently untrustworthy folks; it’s just that we watched Changing Lanes on Saturday.
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Who am I already allied with? he he he
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Besides Turkey, whom else is a young Karl der Gross wannabe to trust?
(PS I am not finished reading the full thread, perhaps some of this will become apparent)
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Yes.
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Don’t know. I’m not a lawyer, myself, but I can’t speak for the others.
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Ummm…me! Yeah, that’s it. Me. No one else. Pay no attention to those other people.
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The stalwart monarch of England of course. Why, I’m so trustworthy, someone I’d only spoken to twice once offered to loan me her car. (True story.)
You might notice that the previous Kaiser, not nearly the diplomat or military mind that you are, got hisself into a bit of a spat with yours truly. Let us hope we can put that all behind us.
and Pucette, saying not to trust me doesn’t have quite the same impact when you still have a little piece of Burgundy caught in your teeth.
That’s because those damn Sicilians don’t know how to make toothbrushes that work properly.
I’ve just had a brilliant flash! Let’s all just leave the new guy alone to do whatever he wants. He can’t possibly cause any harm, look at that soft pink, unprotected skin and those meek looking teeth.
Mostly Harmless 
God, THIS is the reason I keep coming back to GM games on the board.
Here I am now!
Entertain me!
I can juggle. Will that do?
Nah, not nearly as entertaining as the chaos resulting from Abe’s last move in 983. 
I hate you all.
Except Shibb0leth.
He’s my new bestest friend.
Wanna come over and play with my Nintendo?
ShibbOleth, keep in mind that this thread follows two different games. Abe Babe and RTFirefly are in both. Just in case there was any confusion.
So, for example, in the game that you’re in, Abe Babe can freely offer to let you play with his Nintendo. In the other game, however, his Nintendo belongs to me.
I eventually figured that out, White Lightning, but thanks for the tip. I was wondering how you could be kicking ass and saying that you were completely neutral. I’d thought it a cheap ruse, sorry for doubting your sincerity. I have also now read this thread in it’s entirety. Later, when I have time, I’ll ask about this “Aberration” about which you speak.
And I should also point out that with many days to go before a move is due I am already neglecting sleep and work that is due bright and early to get caught up with youse.
For the most part the trash talk and spirit has been great here. Since I’m not expecting to do well I won’t get upset when someone kicks my butt. Maybe I’ll just invite everyone over for schnecken and jaegermeister…
Nah, I’m just in Dip 983.
According to my watch, it’s 7:01am. I thought I’d toss some pebbles at Jonathan Chance’s windowpanes. Anyone want to join me?
::ka-chink::
::tink::
Good thing I had that steel roof put on, isn’t it?
And a good thing Lady Chance is unarmed.
I’m waiting on one set of orders. Then I’ll adjudicate.
Abe?
This is gonna hurt.
By which I’m saying…
Fall 1904 in Dip SDMB 983 has been adjudicated.
Whoa! Someone get the smelling salts! Abe’s fainted!
And meanwhile, the fearless French corsairs, captained by the admiral Guy de Loimbard, have swept into the Mediterranean.
When the MAO fleet sails into North Africa, and with the new fleet I’ll be building in Marseilles this winter, this armada will sweep the green Italian fungus right out of the Med!!
And what’s more, every ship in every fleet has a squadron of crack French taunters aboard. The same forces that vanquished Arthur King and his silly English k-niggets, will make short work of the Italians, who look like they’d been turned into a newt, you know.
[waking up in his own bed]
snort. Wha. . . Where am I?
I had the most awful dream. I was working on my hegemony, y’know, minding my own business, when suddenly I was being attacked by a bunch of horrible little olives that were screaming “Now that’s Italian!”
At the same time, far off in the distance was an order of french fries that just kept getting bigger and bigger. No matter how many of them people ate, there were more, always more.
And there was a huge feast of schnitzel, wursts, liter beer steins, and hassenpfeffer that I was trying to go to. But something pulled me back, so I couldn’t get there.
And I ran out of Turkish Delight.
Oh, it was awful. I’m so glad I woke up. I didn’t miss the deadline for submitting the Spring 04 orders, did I?
Farewell, brave English monarch of world 983…we hardly knew ye.
I’m trying to exact karmic justice for you in 936, Celestina. Well not really, I’m just trying to win, but feel free to put your own spin on it.
[Math Geek sits back and waits for the fight between France and Italy in 983 to start…]
Abe Babe’s dream should remind us all of the dangers of eating too big a meal right before bedtime, especially when we’re in the middle of a Diplomacy game.
::looks at himself::
Say, I’ve been Super-Sized!!