I am withdrawing my nomination. Between pie and death sentences for drunk drivers there seems no room for caprine lovers.
I am feeling sorry for Mr.Niceguy not getting any votes so I transfer my vote and support to his campaign.
Drunk Driving Issue
Drunk driving will be resolved after I am elected by having super models and Varsity Cheerleader types drive taxi’s. Every bar owner will be given extra money to give out for rides ( wink wink) home. This money is tax deductible.
Lack of Geographic Knowledge in Schools Today will be resolved by removing Mexico and parts of Canada from the map. Germany, Belguim, France, Holland, and other assorted countries over there will be officially known as Europe. The capital will be in New York to make the language gap and shopping experience more pleasant.
I got a vote ! Hey ! I got a vote. This thing isn’t over by a long shot. I now have reliable information that my opponents have been out sourcing their pie production. That’s right. Even sending pie to other boards while Staight Dopers here on this board can’t even take pie home to their children. Is this the leadership we want ?
A vote for Mr.Niceguy is a vote for a nice guy.
PIE! PIE! PIE!
All PIE! All the time!
PIE! PIE! PIE!
Plus beer and cookies.
Beer and cookies!
Have you no SHAME?
Have you NO DECENCY?
Everyone knows that if you drink beer you eat pretzels or nachos, which my Party, the None Of The Above Party, provides to every one regardless of their age, sexual deviance, SAT scores, failed diets, infomercial purchases, lack of rhythm whence dancing, driving record or the time you threw up on your mom’s new carpet after doing body shots of tequila.
Remember folks, you could vote straight pie or even bi-pie, or transgendered pie. Its a free country. You can have your pie anyway you like. You could vote for the Other Popular Party Represented Here On This Board but you know deep down inside you would just be making cake of yourself.
Vote for Ujest and you can have it all! Pie, Cake, Ice Cream, Beer and Salty Snacks. All your food groups covered whilst satisfying your little used conscience.
Vote for ** None Of The Above!**
I’m voting for Shirley Ujest, based on name alone. Because I want to have this conversation …
Newbie: So, who’s the president?
Me: Shirley Ujest!
Newbie: No, really, I want to know …
I suspect that this election will be somewhat unique in that there are significantly more candidates that voters. Voter apathy has been somewhat epidemic in this election. Anyway here are the results, unless there are any more votes cast before the end of the weekend:
Swampbear: 3 votes
Mr.Niceguy: 1 vote
lightingtool: 1 vote
Shirley Ujest: 1 vote
**InvidiousCourgette ** (nomination withdrawn): 0 votes
silenus: 0 votes
Iceland_Blue: 0 votes
Shoshana: 0 votes
Lobsang: 0 votes
UrbanChic: 0 votes
CandidGamera: 0 votes
photopat: 0 votes
On this turn out, I hereby declare **Swampbear ** to be Mock President of the SDMB. I expect this designation will replace “charter member” shortly. Finally I would like to express my disappointment that my blatant attempt at Mod bribery did not succeed. I will put it on record that this will not discourage future bribery attempts.
swampy, swampy, he’s our man!
If he can’t do it*, no one can!
*do what? Hey, we’re all waiting to find out.
Bring on the pie!
I plan to pass the Star Wars versus Star Trek bill that will make it a law that a Star Destroyer can bitch-whomp the Enterprise.
Oh, and I’ll set up my Underpants Reform Bill… Girding the loins of America.
Free PDAs for every voter.
It’s over???
I want a recount!!!
Hey swampy, can I be your VP? I think our mutual fondness for beer and cookies will create a strong base of pie-bloated leadership for the SDMB.
I would like to thank the other candidates for allowing me the opportunity to whore myself like a wharf side hooker.
I would like to thank the one voter with the cojones to vote for me, not based on my Pie/Cake/Ice cream stance,but on my name. I am shallow enough to admit that I have picked candidates with the same criteria and it is enough to make me want to change my name to ** Roger Mycock**.
My running partner would be Mike Hunt
I hereby dispute! Draelin changed her vote to me. The system is corrupt! Down with the system! We must have fair elections! And cake and pie! I will invade - Operation : Dessert Storm has commenced!
Hold the front page! Heh. Dessert Storm. :p. There seems to be a modicum of truth in CandidGamera’s allegations. I should stress that in any election invoving as many as six votes there are often small counting irregularities. Here at the SDMB we are big enough to recognise this and even fix things as well. So here is the recount:
Swampbear: 2 votes
Mr.Niceguy: 1 vote
lightingtool: 1 vote
Shirley Ujest: 1 vote
CandidGamera: 1 votes
InvidiousCourgette (nomination withdrawn): 0 votes
silenus: 0 votes
Iceland_Blue: 0 votes
Shoshana: 0 votes
Lobsang: 0 votes
UrbanChic: 0 votes
photopat: 0 votes
The official poll closing will be midnight GMT on Sunday. That is a different time altogether in most other time zones. As things stand **Swampbear ** is still set to be Mock President of the SDMB!
For a Public Display of Affection? I’ll vote for Lobsang. Careful though, bucko… I insist on tongue.
people! pie alone will not bring you happiness!
I will bring you Pie, Puppies, Kittens, mittens and CUBIC ZIRCONIA!!!
I propose a tax on stupidity! This will raise enough funds for:
a car lane JUST FOR YOU!!! and if you don’t have a car, a brand new HYUNDAI!!
free travel for everyone who doesn’t want to drive!
Free Coffee stands every 100 yards!
And for everyone too stupid to appreciate all the intricacies of my proposals, a FREE SHINEY SPOON!!!
VOTE TWISTY!
A free shiny spoon!
Dayum…that is simply awesome!
::::::sneeks into the voting booth to cast her vote for Twisty:::::::::::Exits booth flashing the V symbol to anyone watching.
[Homer]mmmmm, shiny spoon and cubic zirconia[/Homer]I vote Twisty!
Vote for swampy – he left in the middle of the campaign to go on a cruise. If that doesn’t indicate some version of Doper spirit, I don’t know what does.
Besides – who cares about coffee when there’s no PIE?
If swampy should not be elected, I will be happy to serve as discerner-of-psychos-amongst-potential-dates for whatever administration ends up promising the coolest stuff.