Why was the Sickles family smaller when they returned from their Florida vacation?
Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll
What are three essential elements in the universe?
An old shoe, barbed wire, and two pairs of womens panties.
What is the pre-9/11 standard defense for army ammunition plants?
A dado head cutter protruding from his forehead.
What is the usual condition of Dr. Nick Riviera’s brain surgery patients?
Jack’s Burning Rage
What is the name of the rejected sequel to The Shining?
A marshmallow and an oxyacetaline torch in a hyperbaric chamber.
What is the incorrect way to enjoy an evening around the campfire?
Maori warrior & yodeling
What did the first New Zealand settlers live in constant fear of …
a girdle, a griddle and a gamble
What do Rush Limbaugh, Aunt Jemima and Kenny Rogers each need, respectively?
Jimmy Watson was the first person to do this…
What is have an Australian Winemaking trophy named after you…
because of discolration in the digestive tract by bile salts
Why is it that Michael Jackson looks white?
The only thing that will give you insomnia, a stomach ache and a reason to smile
What is a german pornography film festival?
Because nobody ever needs two of them.
Why is it that rabbits are barely ever sold in pairs?
Rotting ham.
What did they serve Robin Hood in prison every morning?
A couple of pennies and a ball of lint.
Is that the best you could come up with for an answer?
Sears Actionwear tm
What makes the mannequins look like they’re having more fun than I am?
Goddamned shiny plastic people…
A magnet and a ball of irradiated tinfoil.
What’s inside each Happy Fun Ball tm?
That sounded like an REM song! Goddamn shiny plastic people! Shiny plastic people holding hands! Put 'em in a suit! Happy! Happy!
2874-8909
What was the rejected title for the song about Jenny??
IRS
How did Ess always introduce himself?
Five cheese wheels.
What plus a beer is a Swiss six-course meal?
Next: Ensign Ro
What did the admiral say to the ensign as they escaped from the sinking ship in a life raft?
Aerosmith & Harlem Globetrotters