hooray for return phone calls! I know it is hard to do, but try t o convince yourself you on a valued and earned vacation and let work worry about itself
Woot!
Woot #2!
Remember, it’s not you, it’s the depression talking. Depression lies.
I’ll join in too, even though I am somewhat late to the party…
Had depression and generalized anxiety since I was 18. There this prevalent hopelessness that keeps gnawing at me, and I tend to be hypersensitive and nervous all the time. That cause some big upsets - such as losing an entire circle of friends and career opportunities. Tried all sort of therapy - CBT, Schema…the only one that seem to work is mindfulness and positive psychology.
Both my mum and my sister have schizophrenia and they refused treatment. I couldn’t take their rantings all the time so I am limiting contact with them. Interacting with them just drags me down. . Just a couple of Saturdays ago my sister was on the phone accusing me of covering up some conspiracy. I tanked for a week. Then she said my mum’s schizophrenia is worsening because I didn’t see her enough. Hell of a guilt trip. Unfortunately, I don’t forgive people who put me on a guilt trip. So I guess I won’t be surprised if I snapped someday and just change my mobile.
Have been in the pits lately. I feel stuck. I am a decent enough programmer, but I don’t want to take work at the high paying places because I can’t take the political games and stress. I tend to blame myself for everything, internalize all the problems and by default take everything personally. I couldn’t get enough sleep, and felt I couldn’t disclose those dark thoughts to any friends lest they leave me.
I really need to take a break, though I have no one to spend the time with or no money to go anywhere. The country I am from don’t give any disability for depression or mental illness, so I’m pretty much stuck working - even when I can’t or feel like do. There’s rent to be paid after all. It’s good the boss I have now understands what I am going through and gives me some leeway (such as flexible working hours, which helps as I can’t seem to sleep and get up easily). However, it just made me felt that I can’t go anywhere else.
[QUOTE=Crowbar of Irony +3]
The country I am from don’t give any disability for depression or mental illness, so I’m pretty much stuck working - even when I can’t or feel like do.
[/QUOTE]
That’s so wrong, if they allow disability for other illnesses/injuries. :mad:
It’s an Asian thing. Mental illness are still not regarded kindly or accepted (relatively, when compared to US). Heck, I don’t even know if they give disability for other illness or diseases. It’s a really “you fall sick it’s your own fault” mindset, unless you have shelled out for insurance. Which is never enough unless you are relatively wealthy to begin with.
Adderall seems to be an upper, whereas the others seem to be downers. If I take Adderall, will my insomnia continue? And which to choose? Insomnia, or reluctance to get out of the bed?
I’m currently med-free. I was on bupropion for about two years, and the pimozide for a couple of months. The latter was working great, it seems, until a couple of weeks ago when it suddenly stopped and my tics returned. And I’ve been feeling good for awhile, so a couple of months ago I decided to see what life would be like without the bu-bu. So far, no regrets. I had a dysthymic weekend a couple of weeks ago. And my tics are still a little irksome, so I haven’t written off the pimozide forever. But I’m doing well.
Going to therapy really helps, and I feel bad that so many people here are struggling just to get the basics. I can’t imagine being depressed and not having a therapist, even though I spent many years in such a state. I know some people have significant others and friends to kvetch to, but there’s really nothing better than having someone who’s paid to listen to you, who you don’t have to put on a pretty face for, and who holds you accountable. I just don’t know what I would do without the structure and feedback of therapy…which makes me think I’m not so “cured” after all.
I don’t know. I’ve had three different therapists and two literally told me I was “hopeless”, “would never have a normal life” and that I “should just give up”. 
The third wasn’t “therapy” so much as “guy rambles on about his pointless life stories that have no relation to anything.”
So I really can’t go to therapy, it just ends up being an hour a week of a person telling me how shit I am.
I’ve only been on Adderall for a couple weeks. The initial 10mg dose did nothing for me, really. Just increased to 20mg and I am feeling a little more energetic.
The first couple nights I had a very hard time sleeping. “Normally”, I have hypersomnia, which is one of the reasons for trying the Adderall in the first place. I’d be very hesitant to try it if I was an insomniac.
WTF is wrong with your therapists?! I met with the head clinician at my hospital’s mental health department, the other day. She herself told me that therapists are a dime a dozen, and there’s nothing wrong with “shopping around” until you find the right one.
I wasn’t sure what you were talking about so I looked for your last post which I guess was #37. I didn’t know what to make of that either at the time, but now that I think about it, what you describe sounds like the w/drawal symptoms I go through when I stop my stimulant medication, an amphetamine. The lethargy, sleepiness even the body aches. Not sure if that means anything but I thought I would mention it.
If you have ADD/ADHD, amphetamines can have a paradoxical effect. IOW, they might actually put you to sleep. That happens to me if I take the immediate release version of my medication, or it can depending on the dose. Similarly, benzodiazapines can cause agitation in some people rather than relaxation.
As a general rule, you probably wouldn’t be prescribed an amphetamine if your primary complaint is anxiety, but that’s why you need a competent psychiatrist to do a thorough interview and try to get an accurate diagnosis. Honestly, it still might not hit the mark, but it vastly improves your chances.
As someone who’s had good luck with therapy, do you have any tips for making it a successful experience? I haven’t had good luck in the past, but I take full responsibility. I was so convinced it wouldn’t be helpful that I didn’t really put much effort into it.
I’m feeling bad, and gonna use Gravol (Canadian Dramamine) to get to sleep tonight, if possible.
Therapy never really helps me either. They always try to get me to do that mindfulness crap, and as I mentioned upthread, it doesn’t help me at all. Then they explain things again and again that I already know. I should set boundaries with my mom? I shouldn’t be in a relationship with a psycho? I should sleep at night? Gosh thanks for the insight. The kind of counselors I get might help people who don’t know the first thing about psychology, common sense, etc. and just need it explained to them. I already know plenty, I just have a hard time putting it into practice.
I know it’s just Dramamine, but be safe with it, k?
(hug)
I don’t do therapy mainly because I had to be my own therapist my entire life and as cocky as it sounds, I’m probably going to be better at it than anyone who isn’t going to cost me a few grand per month.
However it IS possible to rewire your brain. If you don’t believe that’s possible, here’s a great Lifehacker article you should read.
I didn’t want to join in but I guess I need to. I am so tired of clinging to the knot at the end of my rope.
I’ve been in the Black Hole since December. I’ve now reached the point where I’m either crying or just feel numb. There’s no insurance so no medication. I don’t have anybody to talk to about it.
You’ve got us. I know it’s not much, but we care.
I don’t know if I’ve got any tips, unfortunately. My therapist specializes in CBT, but that stuff doesn’t work on me, so she doesn’t even try it anymore. Though,I will usually try to do whatever homework assignment she gives me, just to be a good sport.
Just having a place to talk and be “natural” in front of another person has been helpful for me. My therapist is not the best one in the world–I could rattle off a long list of her annoying traits. But she listens to me and has a great memory, and those are two things I value. It is also helps that she’s concrete with me. She gives advice and tells me I’m wrong when I’m wrong. And she’s really big on lifestyle stuff. We’re in the same yoga class together, for instance.
My depression is enmeshed with my personality traits; I’m not a depressive person, but my tendency to isolate myself socially and emotionally puts me at high risk for depression. So if my personality was all-together fine, then perhaps therapy wouldn’t be so important for me. As it is now, it is pretty much the only face-to-face social outlet I have.
But you don’t have the benefit of being a disinterested, neutral, 3rd party. You can’t tell if the soup’s too salty when you haven’t tasted any other soup. You also have a sample set of one.
Case in point: I was OBSESSED my wife going to leave me, that she was losing interest, and I felt entirely helpless that there was nothing I could do to change it. I’m going on and on about how smart, intelligent, and wonderful she was. (I’m paraphrasing) and the therapist at the end of all of this said “She’s smart, wonderful, intelligent, funny…and she picked you. What does that make you?”
And that statement was enough. It made me realize SHE wasn’t leaving, it made me realize the anxiety was a self-made thing that kept feeding upon itself as a negative-feedback loop.
I’ve been lucky in that the insurance has made the medication affordable (there are programs to assist people in affording medication they normally can’t), and my therapy was provided as a perk of my employment.
But even then, negotiating a cash-only arrangement with a therapist oughta be doable, and the money pays you back more than double when you DO find the thing that helps. You only get one trip round this rock, wasting it in a correctable depression isn’t using your time effectively. I’m not blowing sunshine…I’ve been where you’re at, and I know first hand it can be dealt with.