Question number five, submitted by wooly.
The SDMB has been fighting ignorance since 1973 and the U.S. faces a situation of either Big Al or Dubya becoming its new leader. To what extent do the candidates accept personal responsiblilty for this? Do you consider this an example of “cause and effect,” or a plain case of “shit happens?”
Okay, I’ll do these two in order.
Question 4
People who wrongly correct other people should not be officially punished, but should definitely be declared open game for the people whom they corrected, and anybody else who has something to add.
Double posting, while annoying as fuck, will only be slightly punished, by spending 2 hours in “the box”, baking in the hot su…oh, wait. That’s not minor. Well, then, just a slap on the wrist. But don’t apologize, otherwise it’s STRAIGHT to “the box” for you!
Question 5
I think that this is a case of “shit happens”, and is in no way related to me. HOWEVER, in the tradition of fighting ignorance, I will put together a crack ignorance-fighting team to “take care of” whoever gets elected, and ensure that it doesn’t happen again.
Thanks Moderator,
As a veteran participant of the 19th SDMB Corps, I feel it is necessary that any or all Dopers out there take up arms agains stupidity whenever the specter rears its ugly head. Seeing as the only arms taken up has been on the boards here, I see this as a more “cause and effect” relationship.
Now pass me my rifle. And 210 rounds, thank you . . .
Tripler
One nut short of a bolt.
I think that the offenders should be the first living breathing recipient of an internet broadcast of Gerbil Stuffing. At last, ending the urban legend once and for all and making sure the *oops, I did it again…how’d I do that? * would never ever happen again.
For the “botching spelling while correcting someone else’s spelling” bit, I would suggest forcing the perpetrator to read all of Mark Serlin’s posts in a row. For the double-post-apology crime, I would suggest forcing the perpetrator to listen to Britney Spears’ “Oops, I Did It Again” over and over and over and over, so he/she realizes how fucking annoying it is!!!
My immediate reaction would be to put this in the category of “shit happens”. However, since that’s too easy (although fun to say), my second reaction would be to postulate that it’s those crazy aliens, Kang and Kodos, back again to ruin our election.
I hereby announce that, if elected, I will place a tarriff on all extraterrestrial warlords from Rigel 4. Also, I will open up trade with the often-nude Amazonian women of Pimpia Prime.
As this is the first election in which I am legally allowed to vote, I don’t see how I can accept any sort of personal responsibility for this. However, back when Tsongas, CLinton et al. were campaigning, I preferred Tsongas . . . maybe I should have spoken up more, but Tsongas did quit later on to be with his family.
We’ve had a decent string of dipshit presidents . . . Reagan believed pollution was caused by trees. Bush was playing golf on a cruiser during Desert Storm. Clinton is one of the most interesting liars I’ve ever seen.
So, IMO, shit has happened, will continue to happen, and has always happened.
Buzzing sensation in the ears causes son-of-sheep-farmer to waken. Looks at his watch, shit is that the date?
Hear a familiar name mentioned, subconscience struggles to to recall … hey, that’s my name. Oh my God, the venerable Beer has picked one of my questions. It’s my 15 seconds of SDMB fame and I’m going to miss it. Shit! Tries to struggle to feet but fails due to accumulated human debris, glassware and composting vegetables.
Looks around the audience from prone position. Notes that if I had to answer the question “Are you a higher life form”, I’d only get a pass conceeded … and might be dux of the school at that.
Tries to rouse fellow hecklers. Gets a vague movement of the torso from sofa king. Wonders whether wring is working on her moderator skills, but the curtain is hanginging still and limpid. Feels much the same. Calls out that the candidates are answering important questions of state without scrutiny or interference. Gets sconed with a vodka bottle thrown by nadin. This is serious, it’s not empty.
Sounds come from the direction of Doper-formally-known-as-filthy that might be “awfuckitvotejester”.
Bugger it, that’s close enough, lets hope it not groundhog day. Falls back into stupour.
::grumble grumble::
I vote that we get a new moderator for these debates. As the smartest, coolest, sexiest, and all-around most superior person on this planet, I nominate myself. All in favor, drool.
::sounds of dripping drool from the extremely drunken members of the audience::
All opposed, say “antidisestablishmentarianism”.
::no response::
There. I’m the new moderator. And as moderator, I hereby declare myself president-for-life. And as president-for-life, I hereby…
::turns around, notices UncleBeer glaring angrily at him::
Err… what I really mean is… uh… “bump”.
So, not to be a pain in the ass, but:
What the hell happened to this thread?!? We still have one week before Election Day (US)! What gives?
Tripler
Angry, and damn proud of it!
[mayor quimby]I want my sixth question![/mayor Quimby]
Let’s just say “fuck it” and declare me Emperor. Then we can all go shoot some Ewoks.
Oh, man, that’s the last time I’m mixing Tequilla and rubber chickens. What, it’s Halloween already??? damn! and my order from Fredericks hasn’t arrived yet.
but, we dooooo seem to have a lovely case or two of kaluah and vodka… hmmmmmmmmmmm
Um, you guys go ahead and, um, like, debate or something, I’ll be right with ya, yea…
I’d vote for that, but only if you name me “Grand High Field Marshal of the War Forces”. . .
Tripler
I got an ego to maintain here.
<Rouses self, crawls out from under podium>
Man, that last vodka bottle to the head really put me out. Good arm, wring! Anyway, where be the moderator! I want my other questions! The Doper people have a right to know, even though they’re all in drunken stupors!
last I saw ** UncleBeer**, he was muttering something about never again mixing politics, rubber chickens and handcuffs…
Well, while this debate has been dawdling along, my eggs have hatched into half baked ideas. And all of them are rotten to the yolk. I will now throw out a few questions that you can catch if you want and fry it up to order.
1deb) Have you every been to bed with any of your running mates or any of their supporters, please reply in intimate detail.
2deb) As the SDMB president, what kind of government structure will you have, democratic, commune, benevolent dictator, Total w/ raisins, or other?
3deb) How will the peoples of SDMB prosper under your leadership?
1deb) Have you every been to bed with any of your running mates or any of their supporters, please reply in intimate detail.
I do not sleep with supporters. I take them off and thrown them on the floor.
2deb) As the SDMB president, what kind of government structure will you have, democratic, commune, benevolent dictator, Total w/ raisins, or other?
Ponzi Scheme.
**3deb) How will the peoples of SDMB prosper under your leadership? **
Under My Administration there will be more sex, plenty of excellent booze and I shall legalize the fun drugs. I will also declare a freeze in the pricing of concession food prices at the theater and make it Federal Law that hot dogs and buns come in packs of twelve. Also, I will begin during my regime, the mandatory sterlization or ignorant peoples and owners of yipe yipe dogs.
I’m virtually married to my running mate . . . derive from that as you wish.
Trolls will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Other than that, my government structure encourages nudity.
Very carefully.
Well, aside from the near-constant flings that Shirley and I have (man, you’d be surprised what fits in her), I’ve also managed to hook up our long-absent (hint hint, 'Beer!) moderator with dozens of hot chicks. In fact, that’s probably where the horny old bastard is right now…
I will be a cruel, ruthless, tyrannical, evil dictator bent on making your lives miserable and my life better. And Tripler will be my Grand High Field Marshal of the War Forces with Sugar on Top.
Everyone with a username at the time of my rise to power will live in peace and happiness. All others will be relegated to a Plebian class, fitted with mind-control devices that leave them nothing but slaves and eager sex partners for the SDMB Elite. Oh, and I’ll force Pepsico to bring Josta back.
<sigh> Where in tarnation is UncleBeer! We need a moderator, and not even a drunken bender will excuse him from this here absence.
But hey, even though he’s gone, I’ll answer the questions of the temp over there, deb.
Well, I’d like to inform everyone that I have a non-discriminatory policy when concerning sex in general. You don’t have to be a member of my administration. I’ll take anything I can get.
It would be some variety of sauce-based government, preferably Cheese and Macaroni. But not Kraft. Ewww.
Well, the SDMB will be given ultimate power in my reign, so I’d have to say that that qualifies as “flourashing”.
That said, I got Uncie Beer’s face on a milk carton, but I dunno if it’ll help.