Tomato and potato
What is your career choice?
That’s a tough one. I was really hoping to make a fortune in rutabaga.
**I have to call the vet in the morning for “the talk.”
That’s the last one of THOSE I’ll ever buy! **
From now on, I’m sticking to Pet Rocks! They never have to be “put down”!
**What’s the most interesting car you saw today?
Free Jeep! **
I love my bidet! Ever try one?
4 (four!!) Ducolax at once-colonoscopy prep-can that be safe??
Yo, advertisers looking to sell to the 18-25 demographic! The Straight Dope is the place for you!
**That’s the last one of THOSE I’ll ever buy!
theres a war on cash ?
**
Well, the last one you’ll buy with cash, anyway
That’s the last one of THOSE I’ll ever buy!
Free Jeep!
Not even if they’re giving them away!
Dead deer under truck
If you were to surprise your parents with a dream car…
It would certainly be a surprise!!
** Am I nationalist?
How do I restore the sheen to my silk pillowcases? **
Well, they wouldn’t get so mucky in the first place, if you’d stop wearing them over your head at rallies.
** What typically happens during a church service?
What do you want for Christmas?**
Oh, so that’s why the priest wants the young boys to come up and sit on his lap.
d&r
Sequential e-mail headers this morning:
** CDC: Gun-related deaths on the rise
Congratulations, Jackmannii, you’re in the top 10! **
Aw, shucks. :o
What old technology won’t you give up
Oh, Thank Goodness! I have Plantar Fascciitis!
And I’m never going to give it up!
** Things that are tricky to Google
Oh, Thank Goodness! I have Plantar Fascciitis! **
Is that really better than being a Platonic Fascist?
** What typically happens during a church service?
I feel old
Well, I’m being financially extorted
Leaf raking muckraking
Free Jeep!
Good News Thread **
I guess that covers it.
**I feel old
That’s the last one of THOSE I’ll ever buy! **
A green banana?
**What typically happens during a church service?
Things that are tricky to Google **
Try Googling “Hellfire & Brimstone”???
Dead deer under truck
What’s with people traveling with food?
** What typically happens during a church service?
Free Jeep!**
The AK-47 giveaway was more popular, but frowned on by stodgy older parishioners. 
** What is the legal difference between a Migrant and Illegal alien in the USA?
Police Courtesy Cards **
“Juan doesn’t have a green card but he donates regularly to the PBA, so please don’t report him to ICE.”
** 25 years ago, Mosaic 1.0 was released
That’s the last one of THOSE I’ll ever buy!
**
Should we get a budgie?
Stocking stuffers
It would probably suffocate. I’d go with a different type of budgie stuffer.