** What is it like to have servants?
Elves in blackface?**
The racial overtones are disturbing, but the real deal-killer is those squeaky voices.
** Given the spate of amazon package thefts, has anyone invented a practical countermeasure?
Did anyone, literally, want smoke blown up their ass? **
Not if it included a pound of glitter.
Santa Claus is coming to the MMP!!
Trump wall solution
‘I will keep the MMP safe. In fact, I’m the only one who can keep the MMP safe. Santa… You know ‘Santa’ is another name for ‘Satan’, right? Satan is evil. Santa breaks into people’s houses. He’s corrupting your children, making them think that they should get everything for free. We’ll build a wall around MMP. It will be a beautiful wall, with slats. It will be high enough he can’t fly over it. Which he shouldn’t be flying a sleigh anyway. You think that’s safe? Do you want a foreigner carrying who knows what flying over your house? Give me a hundred trillion dollars.’
– President Donald J. Trump, Savior of Real Americans
** Are oysters alive when you eat them?
What if somebody DID shoot Bigfoot?**
Sorry, not a good idea to eat a living Bigfoot. I wouldn’t feel really safe unless he was well-done.
Did anyone, literally, want smoke blown up their ass?
Old-time religion
How Good Of A Cook Are You?
Are oysters alive when you eat them?
** Recommend a cut of meat I’ve never had before
“They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?” **
Rear-view video recommendations
Tell me about your colonoscopy
So…one more time…WHAT was the Fellowship’s plan??
What is your Mt. Rushmore of food combos?
They needed to throw second breakfast down Mt. Rushmore.
** That smell in new clothes and fabrics, and how to get rid of it?
Does feeding dogs cheese cause them to lose their sense of smell?**
Maybe if you eat cheese you won’t smell it anymore.
By the time you get to the sigmoid colon, you’ve pretty much seen it all.
** The gifts of the season.
I have become anti-ladder
The other gifts of the Season **
Maybe a nice step-stool?
Poll: Whether humanzees are animals or not
Ever look back at some of the adults from your childhood and think “WTF”?
Uncle Benny was kinda stooped over and made hooting noises when he was excited, but we never made the connection.
**Has anyone seen or heard from spice weasel recently?
Critter Cam out back.
**
** How to find a psychoanalyst if one’s primary doc is no help?
New Year’s Eve parties **
Just don’t pick the guy wearing a lampshade on his head.
** When I’m 64, and other reminders that you are old.
Tell me about your colonoscopy
**
**So…one more time…WHAT was the Fellowship’s plan??
What do I have to do to get a good beef roast?
**
Evidently it takes 7 humanoid creatures banded together to get a good beef roast. Worthy cause? I say yes.
Why is “street” treated differently?
Hepped up on goofballs
Street is so street that it’s always hopped up on goofballs, which is why we treat it differently.
What Should I Do Between Now and Grad School?
New Year’s Eve parties
Lots and lots of New Year’s Eve parties. Or just one, and keep it going.
Should look good on your CV.
** Why is Penis spelt wrongly
Why is “street” treated differently?**
Don’t they know it’s the end of the world
It ended when I lost your car keys
(variant Skeeter Davis lyrics)