**“Invasive species”, or “survival of the fittest”?
Russia has invaded Ukraine. How will the West respond?
**
** It’s my first day of law school!
Ever shit your pants?
**
Sounds like a case of Habeus Crappus.
Epic moments of mishearing
The CIA admits to using vaccination programs for spying
No! I said we used our vacation program for flying!
**What outrageous thing happened to you today?
I am considering declawing my cat **
That’s outrageous!
Ever break-up then get married or similar?
Russia and China are getting pretty friendly. How concerned should we be?
Are you good at meeting people at events where you don’t know anybody?
Do you ever just go stupid?
Yeah, that’s my favorite strategy for socializing. Best way to blend in. As the evening progresses, I may even crank it up to pants-on-head retarded.
**Ever had a partner that says they’re ugly?
Mrs Mouse **
Well, in fairness, she does have a face like a rodent.
** Ask The Juror - major criminal case
Ever shit your pants?**
Well, when I forgot to turn my cellphone off during closing arguments and it suddenly began playing the Merrie Melodies ringtone…man, that judge was pissed.
**Can the condemned choose their own demise?
Could You (Hypothetically) Be Killed By Being Crushed by a Sheet? **
“Yes, just leave me under this silk bedsheet until, uh, until I’m crushed to death! Yeah, that’s it–until this sheet crushes me!”
**How much do you value social intelligence?
Do you ever just go stupid?
**
Tell me about French Louisiana
There’s Rioting in Our Streets, Part 3
I guess I’ll be staying clear of there for a while.
**Russia and China are getting pretty friendly. How concerned should we be?
Ask the Freemason Part II **
Might as well hear it from the people who are really running things. 
**Dating advice / frustration.
Do you ever just go stupid? **
Usually, yes.
**What’s Going on in This Picture (NSFW, Maybe)
General Thoughts & Questions About Making Babies **
I’m *not *clicking that link.
** Did sailors have sex with dugongs/manatees?
Man arrested for taking picture**
Dang, now we’ll never know.
What’s there to do in Enid, Oklahoma?
Lizzie Velasquez is a beautiful woman
I said what, not who.
**General Thoughts & Questions About Making Babies
Ever made a deliberate, permanent decision that you later regretted? **
**You are the only one alive on earth. What do you do?
I’ve been trying to get a career for ten years **
The apocalypse really shot the job market to hell, let me tell you.
**Ever made a deliberate, permanent decision that you later regretted?
DNA experiments on invertebrates **
In retrospect, my experiments with splicing locust genes into Asian giant hornets were…unwise.